If all of the worlds leaders were suddenly culled, the U.N would naturally have to turn to British sit-com characters to take over, here is a Top Ten of who they could turn to...
22/09/08
 | 10. David Pearce
Duty Free | David Pearce would be a great choice as he has all the charm, charisma and after shave of Casanova. If there was ever a war or any kind of world problem, Pearce would be in there conducting clandestine relationships with world leaders wives like a rat up a drain pipe.
|  | 9. Jim London
Up The Elephant And Round The Castle | Jim London was a problem solver, what ever the problem he had a solution, plus, he was a wiz with the ladies. Jim could be a great option, sadly, he was also a racist, so problems may ensue.
|  | 8. Simon Peel & Oliver Smallbridge
Never The Twain | Simon and Oliver would be a good interim "caretaker" choice, that is until our number one choice became available. I feel that it couldn't really last as they are really chalk and cheese, like the odd couple, but antique based, I feel that we would perhaps be asking for trouble letting these two be in charge, before you could say Queen Anne dining set, Oliver would have his assistant Ringo do something wacky and we would be at war with Spain. Plus, they are Japs-eyes.
|  | 7. Henry Willows
Home To Roost | Henry is a complicated character. He likes the quiet life, any kind of upheaval and he becomes rather flustered. Like the time when his long lost son Matthew came "Home to Roost". He was beside himself with misery when this, I suppose you could say, opposite of him entered his life. The disappointment must have been crushing. They were like an "odd" couple. I think Henry would have been a good choice before Matthew came "Home to Roost", but political observers have noted that Henry has since been suicidal.
|  | 6. Mr Cuthbert Rumbold
Are You Being Served | While a good manager and an able man for the job, he does have crazy wacky eyes that may make people uneasy to be in his presense. His own cabinet (Probably made up of the staff of Grace Brothers) may find him a figure of fun behind closed doors. Rumour has it, his first action would be to kill anyone who disagrees with him, which may make him unpopular.
|  | 5. Norman Clegg
Last Of The Summer Wine | This man would be a great choice, if only for his staying power. He has had many friends over the years, most of which have perished, but he is still going strong, still making wry observations and still looking as bewildered as he did when the series started. The only weakness I can spot in Clegg's game is that he is slightly old and too obsessed with doing nothing.
|  | 4. Ted Bovis
Hi-de-Hi! | There is nothing that Ted Bovis cannot do. He is funny, charming and can eat food happily whilst just being in string vest and pants. Any problem that arose at Maplins, he sorted with no fuss what so ever. Sadly, like most great comedians, Ted also had a maudlin depressed side to him. Constantly wanting to be higher up than where he is, this could be a problem when you are the number one guy, he may take his own life not long after taking office. It may be a blessing in disguise as the last thing you want a foreign dignitary doing when visiting our country is to be taking part in a knobbly knees contest or repeating his name louder and louder when Ted replies, "Prime-Minister cant here you!!".
|  | 3. Jacko
Brush Strokes | Charm personified. A great option as he had the ability to talk or pork his way out of any situation. Sadly, I think he would have have been too riddled with syphilis to be seriously considered by now.
|  | 2. Battery Sergeant Major Tudor Brynne 'Shut Up' Williams
It Aint 'Alf Hot Mum | This man takes no shit. You wouldnt get any European leaders over here moaning about our Beef, Williams would simply take them to one side and say, "If our beef is good enough for me, it is good enough for you you poof." And then make him march up and down the square for a few hours.
I Dont even want to think what would happen if any world leader wanted to dress up like a lady like Bombardier 'Gloria' Beaumont did. The only negative would be that war would break out quickly.
| AND FINALLY...
 | 1. René Artois
Allo Allo | This man is my ideal candidate. He went through a whole world war unscathed, not only that, but he made the war last 5 years longer than was necesary. He also faked his own death. He was basically the French version of James Bond, but with more charm. Not only did he have the might of the German army to contend with, but he also kept his own wife guessing by banging each waitress under his employment without his wife even guessing. If he was caught he would simply say the girl was upset so he decided to have sex with them, Edith understood as she knew she was lucky to have René. He was also clever enough to see through LeClerc's many disguises. Obsticles were nothing to René, like when he had a big bit of wood stuck in his head, he still came back to work, it is acts of courage like this that would be so inspirational to the world. Imagine this interlect and tenacity in charge of world affiars, we would be in very safe hands.
| Comments about This Article |
| hi friend
Comment By: surender, 06 Aug 2010, Rating: 5/5  |
| Why didnt I make the top 10 (sniff sniff), I've been chucked out of Have I Got Snooze For You, and even booted out of Smells Kitchen (sniff sniff) what do I do now? Oh yes! Pass me another line..... (sniff sniff)....
Comment By: Angus McAnus, 13 May 2009, Rating: 5/5 |
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Stop haunting things!! If you were alive I would put my boot up your arse.
You know how much psychological harm you have done my children? Never mind my wife, Raquel from Only Fools and Horses.
Comment By: Peter Rokeby, 22 Sep 2008, Rating: 5/5 |
| I'm sure I would have made the top 10 but in 1996 I was hit by an ivory button from a waistcoat belonging to Paul Shane as it exploded under the tremendous pressure of his preformace of 'You'e lost that lovin' feelin', at Pebble Mill at One. Baby Baby. .
Comment By: Yetta Feldman (so haunt me), 22 Sep 2008, Rating: 5/5 |
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