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Back to the home page Ted tells you what Free Stuff you can Have Hobo Merchandise at Cafe Press All the good stuff The opinions and knowledge of the rich and famous. Reviews of films, books, music and more. Submit your own. Dermot and Ted's Top Ten Preferences Dermot's Dictionary

Lego Indiana Jones's TOP TEN REASONS TO VOTE FOR HOBO BONOBO IN THE NEXT ELECTION Average Rating: 2.5 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten 80's Alien Films Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Lego Indiana Jones's Top Ten Things to do Before You Die Average Rating: 2.6 out of 5
Lego Indiana Jones's Top Ten random things from earth, part 2 Average Rating: 2.9 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten 80's Action Movies Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten Worst Cartoon Villains Average Rating: 2.6 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten Random Moments In Cinema Average Rating: 2.4 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten T.V. Spin Offs That NEED To Happen Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Lego Indiana Jones's Top Ten Heroes and Villains that never made it Average Rating: 2.6 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten British Sit-Com Characters Who Could Rule The World Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten Reasons Aliens will NEVER Land Or Invade Average Rating: 2.6 out of 5
Lego Indiana Jones's Top Ten Sperm Donors Average Rating: 2.3 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten Rubbish TV Heroes Average Rating: 2.2 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten Things Found in Christopher Biggins's House Average Rating: 2.6 out of 5
Lego Indiana Jones's Top Ten random things from Earth Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten Worst Accents In Film Average Rating: 2.2 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten Bond Moments Part 2 Average Rating: 3.1 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten Best Bond Moments Average Rating: 2.8 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten Most Disappointing Superhero Films Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten Superhero Films Average Rating: 2.5 out of 5
Dermot and Ted's Top Ten Rubbish TV Detectives Average Rating: 2.6 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten Worst Things About The Star Wars Prequels Average Rating: 2.5 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten Obligatory Moments For A Police Academy Film Average Rating: 2.3 out of 5
Ted's Top 10 Worst James Bond Films Average Rating: 2.6 out of 5
Ted's Top Ten Reasons Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Sucked Average Rating: 2.5 out of 5
Top Ten Rubbish TV Heroes Top Ten Rubbish TV Heroes
TOP TEN RUBBISH TV HEROES
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you should look elsewhere...
28/08/08

Renegade10. Renegade
Renegade
Should have been called, Lionman on a bike.
Not so much a Renegade, more like a prick.

Jason Lochinvar "Fatman" McCabe9. Jason Lochinvar "Fatman" McCabe
Jake and the Fatman
A walking heart attack is not someone I could really identify with when I was a child, frankly, Jake carried this programme and the Fatman was a bit of a liability.
A modern day equivalent would be Basil Soper from the "Personal Injury Helpline" adverts teaming up with Sean McGuire to fight crime.

Jake Cutter 8. Jake Cutter
Tales of the Golden Monkey
You know a TV hero is rubbish when the most interesting things going for him are that he has a one eyed dog and he is friends with Roddy McDowell.
Yes, he flies a plane, yes, he is a bit like Indiana Jones, but he is quite simply a bell end, and he knows it, which is worse.

Sgt, Rick Hunter7. Sgt, Rick Hunter
Hunter
Supposed to be T.V's equivalent to Dirty Harry, he is more like T.V's equivalent of Aunt Sally.
Works for me? Sod off.

Automan6. Automan
Automan
The crime fighting equivalent of the Microsoft Word Paperclip

John "Hannibal" Smith5. John "Hannibal" Smith
The A Team
Why is it good to be disguised? You can get into areas unrecognised and fool enemies into thinking you are someone else.
When is the good time to remove your disguise? Well, according to Hannibal Smith, when you are only inches away from your quarry, or they have barely left the room and may come back at any moment.

Jesse Marks4. Jesse Marks
Streethawk
I want someone to test pilot my new crime fighting motor bike.
Perhaps I will chose the whiniest chowder head I can find and pop him on it, I give you, Jesse Marks! (Nickname Skid)
The funny thing about Street Hawk is that it was only ever good when he was on the bike, and that could (and should) have been anyone.
Jesse was annoying, and rubbish. Though, the bike ruled!
Observe as he kidnaps an innocent child in the name of rubbish justice -

Strangfellow Hawk3. Strangfellow Hawk
Airwolf
He may be a nifty pilot, but he is also a world class ponce, "My name is Stringfellow and I play cello in moody lighting."
Twat.
His best friend can't even afford proper sunglasses, it would appear he found his broken ones in a bin. Here is a video of Hawk being cool and hanging with his friend who can't afford sunglasses.

Angus MacGyver 2. Angus MacGyver
MacGyver
A hero with a degree in wood and metal work, think "Handy Andy investigates", able to think on his feet and get out any situation.
Though, seemingly incapable of escaping the fact that he is a world class twot.
Marvel as he builds a jet-ski from a simple coffin! You could never do this, puny mortals.

AND FINALLY...

Dr. Jonathan Chase1. Dr. Jonathan Chase
Manimal
When you are in a sticky situation, the last thing you want is your companion to turn into a bear or a panther, that would only make matters worse in my opinion.
Plus, he mostly changed into an Eagle, which must be the most painful transformation I can imagine, a 6 foot man changing into a 1 foot bird? Ouch.
Not to mention the time he turned into a snake, how is that done exactly???
There is no doubt about it, he is the human version of a Transformer that turns into a wheel barrow.
See, how he turns into a pretend Panther and bores the arse off of a Leopard -


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