If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you should look elsewhere... 28/08/08
10. Renegade Renegade
Should have been called, Lionman on a bike.
Not so much a Renegade, more like a prick.
9. Jason Lochinvar "Fatman" McCabe Jake and the Fatman
A walking heart attack is not someone I could really identify with when I was a child, frankly, Jake carried this programme and the Fatman was a bit of a liability.
A modern day equivalent would be Basil Soper from the "Personal Injury Helpline" adverts teaming up with Sean McGuire to fight crime.
8. Jake Cutter Tales of the Golden Monkey
You know a TV hero is rubbish when the most interesting things going for him are that he has a one eyed dog and he is friends with Roddy McDowell.
Yes, he flies a plane, yes, he is a bit like Indiana Jones, but he is quite simply a bell end, and he knows it, which is worse.
7. Sgt, Rick Hunter Hunter
Supposed to be T.V's equivalent to Dirty Harry, he is more like T.V's equivalent of Aunt Sally.
Works for me? Sod off.
6. Automan Automan
The crime fighting equivalent of the Microsoft Word Paperclip
5. John "Hannibal" Smith The A Team
Why is it good to be disguised? You can get into areas unrecognised and fool enemies into thinking you are someone else.
When is the good time to remove your disguise? Well, according to Hannibal Smith, when you are only inches away from your quarry, or they have barely left the room and may come back at any moment.
4. Jesse Marks Streethawk
I want someone to test pilot my new crime fighting motor bike.
Perhaps I will chose the whiniest chowder head I can find and pop him on it, I give you, Jesse Marks! (Nickname Skid)
The funny thing about Street Hawk is that it was only ever good when he was on the bike, and that could (and should) have been anyone.
Jesse was annoying, and rubbish. Though, the bike ruled!
Observe as he kidnaps an innocent child in the name of rubbish justice -
3. Strangfellow Hawk Airwolf
He may be a nifty pilot, but he is also a world class ponce, "My name is Stringfellow and I play cello in moody lighting."
Twat.
His best friend can't even afford proper sunglasses, it would appear he found his broken ones in a bin. Here is a video of Hawk being cool and hanging with his friend who can't afford sunglasses.
2. Angus MacGyver MacGyver
A hero with a degree in wood and metal work, think "Handy Andy investigates", able to think on his feet and get out any situation.
Though, seemingly incapable of escaping the fact that he is a world class twot.
Marvel as he builds a jet-ski from a simple coffin! You could never do this, puny mortals.
AND FINALLY...
1. Dr. Jonathan Chase Manimal
When you are in a sticky situation, the last thing you want is your companion to turn into a bear or a panther, that would only make matters worse in my opinion.
Plus, he mostly changed into an Eagle, which must be the most painful transformation I can imagine, a 6 foot man changing into a 1 foot bird? Ouch.
Not to mention the time he turned into a snake, how is that done exactly???
There is no doubt about it, he is the human version of a Transformer that turns into a wheel barrow.
See, how he turns into a pretend Panther and bores the arse off of a Leopard -
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