RECENTLY ADDED
FILM REVIEWS
TV REVIEWS
MUSIC REVIEWS
BOOK REVIEWS
WEBSITE REVIEWS
OTHER REVIEWS
SHOW ALL REVIEWS
SUBMIT A REVIEW
|
A VIew to a Kill - (Film) 
Good hello.
I sat down last night with my wife to watch the exciting Bond film "A View To A Kill"
I thought it was very good, so good in fact I danced the dance of Pan all the way into the kitchen to feed the cat.
I loved the way Bond moved, so sleek and cat like, you wouldn't know he was 68, he also had lots of stamina, for instance he chased a lady up the Eiffel tower, that's amazing, my father is 68 and can only get as far as the front gate without having to stop to catch his breath.
I also liked it when he ruined that couple's wedding on the boat by flying through the roof onto their wedding cake, knocking over young and old alike, causing so much damage and ruining lives.
Did he aplogise for this?
No, he simply left them with the words "congratulations", handing them a piece of their ruined wedding cake.
Well, in my book, that's the behaviour of a prize wanker and no mistake.
Was it worth while?
No, he let his quarry escape, what a rubbish spy he is.
Though he does have one lead, he sneaks into Max Zorin's house for a horse auction or something, using the name St John Smythe, a cunning name, doesnt stick out at all, since no one has used the name St John since 1856!
Anyway, lots of excitement ensues, and Bond slips at least 3 women his length, again, not bad for a man of his age, shame he ruins it by saying a rubbish pun.
In the end, the day is saved and Q spies on Bond, via his electric cat, having it off in the shower, dirty Q, in your magic Q bed, that may look like a bed, but is actually a robot pie.
The next day my wife wanted to watch it again, I said no as I was up all night again with my bad knee.
But she watched it anyway, so I cut her to pieces with my Uzi.
Luckily, the judge had recently watched "A View To A Kill", so he only gave me 20 years in jail.
But, on a brighter note, I am now someones "cissy" or "bitch" which not only offers me much needed protection and security in prison, but also allows me to experiment with my sexuality, which, is ok, not brilliant.
So, to sum up, 3/5 for the film, 4/5 for prison, not amazing, but ok.
Rating: 3/5
By Henry Baxter
|
