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Rocky V - (Film) 
Hello, I am Rocky Balboa.
I am a boxer, I have just beaten Ivan Drago, he killed Apollo in Rocky IV, I have arrived back in America from Russia to bad news, not only has my accountant embezzled all my money, I have also got a brain. Sorry, I mean a bit of brain damage that could kill me if I box again, so I am up shit creak and no mistake.
So, we move back to the old neighbourhood, presumably I sold all of my posh clothes as I now dress like the gypo from Rocky 1 again, no self respect that's my problem.
I have decided that moving back to the old neighbourhood will be great (then again I decided that casting my real life son as Rocky Jr was great too)and no one agrees.
I decide to work at the old gym, and life is back to normal, Adrian becomes a prossy, only kidding, I think she works in the pet shop again, can't remember to be honest, not important though.
I meet up with a man who is supposed to be Don King, he wants me to fight again, as I am important, I say no, he keeps trying.
I meet Tommy "Machine" Gunn, he is a good boxer, I train him and become his manager, he becomes excellent and I am happy, he is like my son, my actual son however is a knob, he cannot fight for toffee and is probably a bender, I ignore him as he is annoying, slowly he gets in with the wrong crowd and gets a ear ring.
Any way, the Don King man takes Tommy off of my hands and lures him into the world of women, cars and mullets.
Tommy and I fight and the end and I hit the Don King man, he will probably sue, he said so, twat.
What a shite film.
Still, at least that is it now, it's not like I will be doing another sequel.....
...Oh dear....
Rating: 1/5
By Rocky Balboa
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