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Badgerbitmycar.com - (Website) 
I was very disappointed to discover that this website had been taken offline some time ago. It used to provide an excellent source of information about incidents of badgers biting cars. Users of the site could share their experience, and offer avoidance tips.
I was a regular visitor of this site in the late nineties, when I lived in a rural area, where badger car biting was a persistent problem.
Now I live in the city, and instead of badgers there is a real Ronnie Corbett problem, which is far worse, and as he is a protected species, the council won't do a thing to help, so I had to take matters into my own hands. I set up a shotgun on a complicated pulley system, programmed to detect Ronnie Corbett interference, so if he came near my tyres again it would be goodnight from him, Permanently.
Unfortunately the device went off at the incorrect time, and I am now facing a life time imprisonment for murdering seven of my neighbours, who were attracted by the bait (an X Box 360 and 3 games) I left out to tempt Ronnie Corbett. To make matters worse, my lawyer told me this morning that after the police dismantled my defence system that evening, the little blighter came along, copulated in my back seat, bit into three of my tyres and made off with one of my windscreen wipers. I was absolutely livid.Rating: 5/5
By Bogdan Drazic
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