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On this Page:
Table Tennis    Tanzelozmatroning    Tattoo    Teddy Rukspin    Teeth    Tennish    Testicle Tennis    The Blues    The Debenhams Fox    The Horror of It All    The Taxi Driver    Thor    Threehundredandsixty    Timothy Dalton    Todd Howard     Tongue in Chin    Top Gear    Torpedo    Transvestism    Treat Williams    Tremors    Trip Hop    Tripod City     Tripods (The)    Trousongulator    Turkey    Two Pints of Lager...    

Table Tennis other
To hit a table between two tennis rackets. Game popular with the mentally ill and Welsh.
Submitted by Arthur Pint, 23/09/2008

Tanzelozmatroning adjective
To run a half eaten apple along a flame.
Submitted by Ted, 06/07/2006

Tattoo other
Something a Church of England clergyman has recommended that gay men have placed on their person, denoting the following, "Sodomy can seriously damage your health".
I note that they have not called for an age limit to be put on there. (Satire).
Submitted by Rory Bremners, 06/10/2008

Teddy Rukspin adjective
Magic bear who, once you insert a self-pre-recorded tape into his chest, talks dirty to you in your voice.
Submitted by Ted, 12/07/2009

Teeth noun
Another one of god's amazing inventions, remember when we didn't have teeth? Pop-Tarts were a nightmare.
Submitted by Ted, 07/04/2006

Tennish
The time Sean Connery watches the news.
Submitted by Pop , 22/03/2006

Testicle Tennis adjective
Testicle based Tennis game, highly popular in the Zambia.
Submitted by Ted, 05/04/2006

The Blues adjective
Type of music that always starts with the line "My Baby She Left Me"
Submitted by Smokey Earl, 25/09/2008

The Debenhams Fox noun
A kind of fox that lives exclusively in the haberdasheries section of any branch of Debenhams. It has only one goal in life, to justify it's existence by finding a limited run of green knitted cardigan that Debenhams ran in their 1984 summer / autumn season which has a velcro fastener rather than a button or zipped one.
Nobody is sure how the Debenhams Fox came into existence, however it's widely believed that it simply needed to exist, therefore did.
It's true agenda will only be known when it finds the object it desires.
Calculations predict that this date may be the 17th to 19th of October 1984; next time round.
This leads us to the question; 'Can the Debenhams Fox transcend the boundries of space and time to exist, before it actually existed'.
For the answer, please visit the haberdasheries section of your nearest Debenhams and look beneath the shelves. Make the gift of a cinnamon candle to the fox. You will be granted two questions. Choose them wisely, as the the Debenhams Fox is known for its sarcastic answers and is often why people leave Debenhams looking lost and confused.
Submitted by lego indiana jones, 30/12/2010

The Horror of It All adjective
The outcome from letting Steve Guttenberg decorate your home.
When used in conversation
Tom - What have you been up to today Steve ?
Steve - I've daubed poo and felt tip marks all over the walls of your bachelor pad in fast motion
Ted - The horror of it all
Submitted by lego indiana jones, 19/10/2008

The Taxi Driver adjective
A film starring Robert De Niro & Jodie Foster, not to be confused with Noel Edmonds, who as far as we know, has never actually picked up a fare!
Submitted by Smokey Earl, 12/11/2009

Thor adjective
Exclamation used by a Prostitute with a lisp to describe how she feels after a busy day!
Submitted by Smokey Earl, 29/07/2009

Threehundredandsixty
Threehundredandsixty - also written '3 6 0'.

Postfix. Most commonly applied to the titles of software released for the popular gaming console X-Box 360.
Submitted by Miss Bali, 1998, 07/04/2006

Timothy Dalton adjective
Last welsh actor to play James Bond, also had bum-chin
Submitted by Ted , 23/03/2006

Todd Howard noun
Teenager, known to be a woof too.
Submitted by Ted, 21/09/2008

Tongue in Chin adjective
Similar to "Tongue In Cheek" but used exclusively by Gordon Brown!
Submitted by Smokey Earl, 22/02/2010

Top Gear noun
Weekly car themed mid-life crisis.
Join three men in their annual attempt to appear young and with it by ploughing a jet engine into a field and then laughing about it whilst his eyes point the wrong way.
Submitted by Jake Jones, 02/07/2008

Torpedo adjective
Naval Pervert
Submitted by Ted, 23/03/2006

Transvestism adjective
If you are a mildly funny comedian this will help your act when you reach your 5th stand up video and run out of material. When saying 'Jam' every 2 minutes doesn't get laughs, and pointing out that you can speak french stops raising a titter, why not try coming on wearing a large dress and talk about it for 2 hours. While you're at it, why not also change your name from Izzard to La-Rue or Ru-paul, people who also thought dressing as a lady was funny. Sadly though, it isn't.
Why not also try appearing in films and stinking the place up with your god awful acting, well done.
Submitted by Ted, 30/03/2006

Treat Williams noun
Hollywood actor schooled at Rada, issued with multiple awards for his delivery of the line "Oh what Now" in the film Deep Rising. (the first time he says it - the second time has been slammed by critics for being too under stated).
Submitted by Dermot, 21/09/2008

Tremors noun
A tremors is a big snake thing with too many mouths. Not many people have seen one and survived, but many have heard it - the characteristic chant of the words 'Yum Yum' that indicates the presence nearby of a tremors on the prowl sends shivers up the spine of any who hear it.
Submitted by Dermot, 22/09/2008

Trip Hop noun
When you fall over and damage one of your legs, but still have to get where you're going.
Submitted by Dermot, 06/04/2006

Tripod City noun
Where the Tripods live, stupid pricks.
Submitted by Ted, 21/09/2008

Tripods (The) plural noun
Race of aliens that take over earth and make all men dress like Fun-Boy-Three, and do their bidding.
BBC adaptation in 1984 & 1985 had some of the finest acting and special effects since Cell Block H.
Sadly series 3 was never made, so we never knew what happened in the end, unless we read the book, but books are boring.
Submitted by Ted, 27/03/2006

Trousongulator verb
New machine that measures your sexual appetite compared to trouser
Submitted by Ted, 27/06/2006

Turkey adjective
Walking through the streets of any town, in any country you may hear the word 'Turkey' often used in casual conversation. It is a derogatory slang term for someone you dislike.

A common example would be hear one individual call another individual a 'Jive Turkey'; meaning the person is in some way foolish or of dubious morality.

Use of this word can be made in any everyday situation; for instance, if you were given incorrect information as to the whereabouts of the Haemorrhoid Cream by the spotty teenage mother working behind the chemists counter in Asda, you could say 'It ain't cool bein' no jive turkey. Now where's the haemorrhoid cream really? Bitch...'.

Apparently Turkey is also a large country in south eastern Europe, bordering the Black Sea between Bulgaria and Georgia, and bordering the Aegean Sea and the Mediterranean Sea, between Greece and Syria... but I've never heard of it.

Even more bizarrely, I am also told that a Turkey is an animal of similar nature to a chicken that is commonly eaten at a time of year called 'Christmas'. No me neither...
Submitted by Mr Ic van Dyke, 28/03/2006

Two Pints of Lager... noun
...And a packet of crisps. For when you haven't got a comedy series, but need to fill a slot on BBC3 or other channel paid for by the license fee payers (including me), with something that doesn't cost much and goes on forever.





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