The Book Group
Guide Dogs For The Blind
Mopeds
Holiday
Bird Watching
Water Retention
An Interview With Guilt Johnson
Interview
BAD T.V 
| | Mopeds | I awoke on Sunday morning wearing a hat of many colours, though I think it is sick.
Many readers may be wondering where I have been for 2 years?
The truth is, I have been looking for Mr. Singh from upstairs.
Remember that film, "Saving Private Brian"?
Well, Bruno, Mike and I decided to look for Mr. Singh as he hadn't been seen now for 22 months, which is a long time in years, and a really long time in minutes, in fact, in seconds it's ages, probably about 4.
We went everywhere, looked high and low, but mainly forgot to leave the flat. it turns out Mr. Singh has moved away to Berkhamsted, which is nice for him, as Mrs. Singh now lives with a moped repair-man called Spike in the flat upstairs, he is easily distracted and often spends years fixing 1 moped. I asked him to fix mine as I was sure I had a Viking in it, turns out it was a spoon and a copy of Razzle.
Spike was amazed I hadn't put any clothes on today, he was equally amazed as I was feeding my letterbox jam, "I'm not weird." I bawked.
"I just like my letters to taste nice."
I want on to explain that my mother sends me letters on rice paper, but for a while she used real ink, which gave me the shits for 3 days, and it was during the 2nd part of Prime-Suspect so I have no idea who killed him/her.
Spike reassured me that it wasn't unusual and then backed out of my room as he said he was working on a new Sistine Chapel called "Pudd".
I hope Mr. Singh is happy, though I cannot imagine there is much room in the cemetery.
16/07/08
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