Magic
Lycanthropy
The Book Group
Guide Dogs For The Blind
Mopeds 
Holiday
Bird Watching
Water Retention
An Interview With Guilt Johnson
Interview
BAD T.V 
| | Lycanthropy | I heard that Bette Midler came round to the flat yesterday. Bruno said he made her tea and gave her 3 Bramley Apple pies. Whilst I usually believe Bruno, I think that this recent depression has taken its toll on him. He was clearly lying. We have no apple pies. I don't care how many signed copies of Beaches he has, she can't have been here, the toilet seat was up.
Mr. Singh was brought home today by 3 policemen. They said that he had been urinating in the flower beds in the park and eating cooked chickens in his underpants. Apparently the only defence Mr. Singh offered was that he is now a werewolf and was marking his territory like Jack Nicholson does. The police were not very impressed and offered a caution. I explained to them that Mr. Singh has been under a lot of strain since he found out that Challenge Churchill was not an extension of Challenge Anneka, and that Churchill the dog was not a real dog and didn't have the hots for him. I went on to explain that this was all really stemming from the fact that his wife had left him for the man who works on the meat counter. The police advised that I should keep an eye on Mr. Singh and that if they caught him again they would arrest him. I didn't want to say that the reason that Mr. Singh didn't use our toilet anymore was that he was convinced it would give him cancer. But I did anyway.
After the police had left, Bruno made us all a sandwich. Sadly, he had only made one, eaten it and then said that we could have it next time. Mr. Singh was still upset about the Churchill incident and said he was going to bed to cry.
Bruno and I watched the last episode of 24, which was really confusing in our opinion. We got lost in the plot a few times. We ended up wishing we had watched the other 23 episodes, but we literally didn't have all day.
Mr. Singh has escaped again, he took my Silver Bullet album too, clever.
18/01/09
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