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New Series of Knight Rider Faces Budget Cuts
Ernest Borgnine, ‘the skipper’ says he’s not amused

28/05/09
Yes it’s back. I’m not talking ‘bout the new shake and vac advert, it’s the welcome return of knight rider. With most of the original cast not on board, it’s a miracle this return ever returned.

As David Hasselhoff was afraid of stereotyping himself, the powers that be at Davejavu+1 replaced him with the David Hasselbott, a cybernetic organism responsible for penning Red Dwarf 8 and stalking Bill Oddie into hibernation.

As William Daniels insisted on an endless supply of lockets, he was also replaced with the celebrity impersonator Daniel Williams.

As the rest of the cast were dead or dying it was only logical that Ernest Borgnine, 'the skipper', would take on the rolls of Devon Miles and his foxy assistant.

Unfortunately this only left a couple of american pounds for the updated version of kitt. They mulled over many possibilities from the original ‘82 trans am to the Shelby mustang gt but they all agreed there was only to be one solution.

The 1974 AC specialist chariot in surgical green shared many of the similarities to the original kitt including that highly practical steering wheel and that’s it. The people of davejavu+1 felt that the ai, molecular bonded shell, pyroclastic lamination, turbo boost, anharmonic synthesiser and equalizer, persuit mode (both normal unt super), scanners, cruise mode, sexy cologne sprayer, cheese meter, ronco fluffomatic, bomb sniffer, anal massaging device, flushing toilet and teas maid could be replaced with a Hulk sticker and a micro processor unit in place of the horn which when pressed said in a calm whispering voice, “Bill Bixby, oh yeah”.

I can’t wait

Oh, yeah.


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