The Bob Hope Random Holiday Generator

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The Bob Hope Random Holiday Generator

03/04/09

Are you planning a holiday this year ?

Are you trying unorthodox methods of travel such as a pirate ship or a large cooking pot?

Perhaps you’re just planning to leave an open packet of croutons unattended in an airport.

If you can’t decide between these things then why not take a spin on the Bob Hope Random Holiday Generator.

Created back in ‘82; this accidental over-tune of one of the ‘Q*bert’ arcade machines by a junior repair man spawned one of most significant leaps in artificial intelligence that we have ever seen.

The date was April the 14th 1984. Terrence P. Coltrane, a junior arcade machine repair man at Kidderminsters’ acclaimed, ‘World ‘O Fun’ was alone for the first time. His supervisor, Roger Totters, had stepped out for a moment with the bingo caller. Alone, nervous and picking fluff from his market bought Don Gabbicci jumper, Terrence P., heard a strange sound emitting from one of the machines. Upon further investigation and nestled in between the Bullseye Quizmaster and the Last Starfighter machines he noticed the sound was coming from the over worked and popular Q*bert console. As he opened the back with the master key he noticed the logic processor was overloading, so without a moments hesitation he disassembled his Ronco Fuzzaway and replaced Q*berts' logic processor with the Fuzzotronic 3000 fluff sensor, closed up the machine and thought, ‘job well done’.
However, whilst rebooting the machine he noticed a few subtle differences on the title screen. The bouncing Q*bert around a triangle had been replaced with a question. The screen read, ‘Select Destination-’, followed by a blinking block cursor.
It then continued to list the seven old ‘Road To’ movies starring Hope and Crosby.

Terrence read through the list -
1, Road to Singapore
2, Road to Zanzibar
3, Road to Morocco
4, Road to Utopia
5, Road to Rio
6, Road to Bali
7, Road to Hong Kong

Press a button and prepare for transportation. . .

Familiar with Star Trek and thinking he was up for a free holiday, Terence, hoping for number 6 hit the button and was instantly transported to the set of Transporter 3 before been vaporised.
The screen then read, ‘Thank you for using the Bob Hope random holiday generator’, and then gave a sinister laugh which lead me to think it had little or nothing to do with Bob Hope or holidays and was just one of those evil machines you hear about on the news; but I still gave it a try.

I ended up in Bali, but forgot to take sun cream, malaria tables, a passport, pass the pigs, trunks, beggar repellent and cash to get home.
I was then transported to the middle of a Mexican prison wedding ceremony with a hairy in-mate call Hondo as the groom. It wasn't long before I realised who was the bride.
All in all; i've had worse holidays. . .

The machine is currently out of order.

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Comments about This Article

Not gay enough ! Comment By: Bing Crosby, 17 Jun 2009, Rating: 5/5

gay Comment By: bob, 16 Jun 2009, Rating: 0/5

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