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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12

Back to the Future Too
30/12/11

Untold Cooper
29/12/11

A British Defence Against America
08/12/11

Not So Marvellous
07/12/11
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11

Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11

The Apprenticed
18/07/11

In Praise of ITV
03/07/11

Sick
28/06/11

Know the Drill
03/06/11

Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Tooth Story
26/05/11

Game of PWNS
24/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
West is West
19/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11

The Bored Room
11/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Future Shock
09/05/11

The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11

Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Small Talk
18/01/11
Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
The Waiting Game
13/01/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
2011
05/01/11

2010
31/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Police Stop
30/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Z Cast
29/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10

A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A Good Society
10/09/10

The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Scanners 2
08/09/10

What mean Expendable?
07/09/10
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10
Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10
Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Pipe Up
23/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10

The Apple
27/03/10
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
1987
26/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10

Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Modern Slash
22/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Dead Happy
05/03/10
Average Rating: 3.3 out of 5
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10

Im Flugzeug
20/02/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Radio Times
17/02/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Intellectual Property
16/02/10

Happy Loveday
15/02/10

A Load of Pony
25/01/10

I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A National Treasure
15/01/10

Snow
13/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Friday The 13th
12/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Steaks are High
11/01/10
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
BBC Bashing
10/11/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09

No More Heroes
06/11/09
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09

Jellyneck
22/09/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09

Memory Lane
27/08/09
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Shitting Stars
26/08/09

The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Generation
14/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Home Alone
29/07/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Context
28/07/09
Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Time Waster
26/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09

He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
Day 2
23/07/09
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A New Morning
22/07/09
Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
The Sadness
21/07/09

Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The New Blog
09/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Return
05/05/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Double Trouble
06/04/09

It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Not Good Enough
30/03/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Picture This
24/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Size Matters
22/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09
Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5
Not Ready
16/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Watched
10/03/09
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Wired
08/03/09

The Running Man
26/02/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09
Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5
Absent Friends
09/02/09
Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
Snow Wonder
02/02/09
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
20/01/09
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
Take Hart
18/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
What's In A Name?
17/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09

The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09

Demon Seed
03/01/09
Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
2008
30/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
What's Cooking?
29/12/08
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
The Curse
19/12/08
Average Rating: 1.8 out of 5
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08

Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08

Feeling Blu
09/12/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
SHT
07/12/08

Gategate
02/12/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08

National Expression
20/11/08
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08
Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08
Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Cage Strain
11/11/08

A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08

A New Morning
Fingers crossed anyway

22/07/09
Right, that's it. I have decided to really chase my dream now and become a writer. I met with a friend last night to go over some ideas and it made me realise that I have some great stuff on the back burner that I am literally doing nothing with.

But, this isnt the first time I have thought this.

5 years ago I took voluntary redundancy at a job, took a nice big pay off and decided that I would dedicate myself to the written word. I locked myself away and barely spoke to my housemates for weeks. I ended up writing a whole comedy series for radio (well, about 9 episodes) and a TV sitcom. I passed them around friends and they all came back to say that they thought they were very good, even enemies that I lived with enjoyed it. Then came the slump. BBC Talent were running a competition for submissions. I sent in both of my scripts and waited. I got a letter a few weeks later saying thanks, but no thanks. I then made the classic mistake of taking it as a rejection and basically giving up. Although I continued to write, my heart wasn't in it and none of it was as good.

Luckily, I met my super wife and we started this lovely and wonderful website as a way to put down stupid ideas, jokes, videos and general nonsense. Whilst it hasn't risen to the dizzy heights of comedy, it isnt doing too badly and seeing as we have barely touched it for a couple of years (save for some stupid reviews and top ten lists) it still gets a lot of visitors and support. If we could really be bothered, we could make it into a bigger deal than it is, but it has a quaint charm that I like and I know lots of other people do as well. Also, it has an interactive element that you dont often get. Some of the funniest stuff we get on here is comments popped down now and then by visitors.

In the years that have followed my attempt at writing, I cant help but notice that good comedy has been a very rare occurrence. Corden and Horne for instance, was fucking awful, but it got on TV, someone had to write it? Obviously, they were mentally ill or 7 years old, but they must have been employed to write it. It is shows such as this that have put steel in my determination and have made me want to get out of the doldrums and make something of myself.

I want to do what I actually am good at, not answering the phone or sorting out problems, but writing.

Dont get me wrong though, I'm not saying "Tomorrow, Broadway!!" I am not saying that I will succeed, but anything is better than just thinking "I could write that" I have sought advice, I emailed Richard Herring and he very kindly sent me back some great hints and tips. Wish me luck and fingers crossed.

Let's see where we are in a year. Hopefully I'm not still getting getting around to doing something about it.

Follow Ted (MrJohnRain) on Twitter

Comments about This Article

I've been writing since I was a pup. Never sent anything off 'cos I'd hate to fail in everything in life. Mabye the dreams more important than the actual prize.
Comment By: The Leonard Nimoy Appreciation Society, 22 Jul 2009, Rating: 5/5

I had some trousers that needed to be taken up a couple of inches, I simply moved the hooks 5.08cm further up my bedroom wall!
Comment By: Richard, 22 Jul 2009, Rating: 5/5

I took 2 pairs of trousers to a shop to be taken up a couple of inches because they were too long. £18 they're charging me! Scandalous.
Comment By: Christopher, 22 Jul 2009, Rating: 5/5

You know, this reminds me of the voices I heard during Fields of Dreams, telling me to "build it & they will come" a few years later the same voices told me to direct & produce Waterworld....yes I lost some money on the project, but I am very happy as manager of Lidl in Borehamwood, my prospects have never looked better

Comment By: Kevin Costner, 22 Jul 2009, Rating: 3/5

As is my hair......
Comment By: Noel Edmonds, 22 Jul 2009, Rating: 3/5

Your spelling really is atrocious Noel.
Comment By: Stephen Fry, 22 Jul 2009, Rating: 5/5

After years of service & hard work for The Beeb, they through me out onto the street like a dead dog.....see who's laughing now....also have you noticed how blonde my hair is these days????
Comment By: Noel Edmonds, 22 Jul 2009, Rating: 3/5

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