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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12

Back to the Future Too
30/12/11

Untold Cooper
29/12/11

A British Defence Against America
08/12/11

Not So Marvellous
07/12/11
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11

Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11

The Apprenticed
18/07/11

In Praise of ITV
03/07/11

Sick
28/06/11

Know the Drill
03/06/11

Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Tooth Story
26/05/11

Game of PWNS
24/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
West is West
19/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11

The Bored Room
11/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Future Shock
09/05/11

The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11

Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Small Talk
18/01/11
Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
The Waiting Game
13/01/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
2011
05/01/11

2010
31/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Police Stop
30/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Z Cast
29/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10

A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A Good Society
10/09/10

The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Scanners 2
08/09/10

What mean Expendable?
07/09/10
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10
Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10
Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Pipe Up
23/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10

The Apple
27/03/10
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
1987
26/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10

Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Modern Slash
22/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Dead Happy
05/03/10
Average Rating: 3.3 out of 5
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10

Im Flugzeug
20/02/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Radio Times
17/02/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Intellectual Property
16/02/10

Happy Loveday
15/02/10

A Load of Pony
25/01/10

I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A National Treasure
15/01/10

Snow
13/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Friday The 13th
12/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Steaks are High
11/01/10
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
BBC Bashing
10/11/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09

No More Heroes
06/11/09
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09

Jellyneck
22/09/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09

Memory Lane
27/08/09
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Shitting Stars
26/08/09

The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Generation
14/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Home Alone
29/07/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Context
28/07/09
Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Time Waster
26/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09

He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
Day 2
23/07/09
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A New Morning
22/07/09
Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
The Sadness
21/07/09

Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The New Blog
09/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Return
05/05/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Double Trouble
06/04/09

It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Not Good Enough
30/03/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Picture This
24/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Size Matters
22/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09
Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5
Not Ready
16/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Watched
10/03/09
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Wired
08/03/09

The Running Man
26/02/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09
Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5
Absent Friends
09/02/09
Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
Snow Wonder
02/02/09
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
20/01/09
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
Take Hart
18/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
What's In A Name?
17/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09

The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09

Demon Seed
03/01/09
Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
2008
30/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
What's Cooking?
29/12/08
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
The Curse
19/12/08
Average Rating: 1.8 out of 5
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08

Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08

Feeling Blu
09/12/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
SHT
07/12/08

Gategate
02/12/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08

National Expression
20/11/08
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08
Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08
Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Cage Strain
11/11/08

A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08

The Sadness
Rise of COMPU-TORR

21/07/09
Have been sadly sidelined recently. Not only with my iPhone, but also with Twitter (Otisberg1977). I have become mildly obsessed with both. I just can't imagine how I survived without an iPhone? I have no concept about life before it now. It is like life was before Sky +. I don't mind waiting around for things now I have the iPhone. Last week for instance, I was waiting 40 minutes for a train. In the days BI (Before iPhone) I would have been very annoyed and bored. Now, I just Twittered away and listened to music and whilst still annoyed, I was able to put it into words.

I have also very sadly, become addicted to Football Manager 2008. Yes, that's correct, not only am I a sad bastard, I am also a sad bastard from the past.

I began to play in the traditional sense, taking Watford as my club and soon becoming fed up that I couldn't attract a fat slow moth with a torch if I tried. So, I went into the data editor, upped my cash to the max and went a-cheatin'. This soon became just as dull, as no matter how much you pay people, they wont want to come to Watford (I still wouldn't want to go back) after all, they may be simulated, but they aren't stupid. So, I picked a big club, Liverpool seemed as good as any. I went a-cheatin' again and soon bought all the players my heart desired. Sadly, I didn't realise that they have put a cheat inhibitor into the game now. You can have all the transfer funds you want, but if you have a billion pounds for players, it compensates by making the club's budget tiny. So, you buy one player for £30 million, and then you check the finances and you are £30 in the red (pardon the pun). This is no good. Sadly, I only discovered this after buying about 80 million worth of players. The club got a massive loan to stay afloat and started selling players for nothing, literally in some cases. Lazio put in an offer of 4 million for Caragher and off he went, the chairman stepped in to accept the offer as it was "too good to turn down." Anyway, after losing a game or two I was sacked.

So, let this be a lesson, cheating is for wimps.

The reason for my delve into the past is that Football Manager 2009 will not run on my current PC, as it is old and cannot keep up. Blame cannot be attached to the PC for this though. Football Manager 2009 decided it was too good to just be little splodges and dots anymore. No, now it had to be 3D. Whilst in principle that sounds great, in practice, if your PC can barely run the very basic 2008, it is a fucker.

Help is on the way though. I have ordered a new PC. It is more than a PC, it is a robo bastard and it goes by the name COMPU-TORR. COMPU-TORR is the product of congress between the computer in Superman 3 and WOPR from War Games. It is being delivered in 7 days (Fingers crossed) and it will blow my mind. It may also start a nuclear war, try and kill Superman with a cellophane bubble and suck electricity out of the surrounding area when it is off. Not to mention turning me into a fugitive from the U.S. government and probably turning my man-like sister into a scary robot who can pin you to the wall with a finger beam.

Many of you may be questioning why I am spending large amounts of cash on a new super computer just to play Football Manager 2009? Well, I'm not. For some time now I have been making sweet music, but, like John McClane in Die Hard 4, I was an analogue man in a digital age, sort of. I was using a 24 track digital (so, not analogue at all, but you will get what I mean) recorder for my musical needs. Whilst it looks very impressive, it is a pain in the arse as if you start a new project and then want to go back to the old one, you have to remix it. Fuck that. No more I say.

So, I will be entering the 21st century in style and creating music to be proud of with COMPU-TORR.

Keep checking otisberg.co.uk for my musical creations and by all means, enjoy my previous output, if that is possible.

Talking of music, I recently bought Wilco\'s new album imaginatively entitled, "Wilco - The Album" which I recommend, whilst they can get a bit samey, there are some stand out tracks on there. Well worth a listen. Jeff Tweedy really has a voice of honey and their previous album "Sky Blue Sky" was also a great album. Such a fan of Wilco am I, that I went to a shop and bought their album, imagine that.

Follow Ted (MrJohnRain) on Twitter

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