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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Back to the Future Too
30/12/11
Untold Cooper
29/12/11
A British Defence Against America
08/12/11
Not So Marvellous
07/12/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
A Quarter Life Crisis
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Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11
Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11
The Apprenticed
18/07/11
In Praise of ITV
03/07/11
Sick
28/06/11
Know the Drill
03/06/11
Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Tooth Story
26/05/11
Game of PWNS
24/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
West is West
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Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11
The Bored Room
11/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Future Shock
09/05/11
The Worm That Eats Itself
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The Life Atwatic
24/04/11
Driving Like A Dick
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A Penny For My Thoughts
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The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
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10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Falling off of the Witches Hat
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Small Talk
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The Waiting Game
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2011
05/01/11
2010
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Police Stop
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Z Cast
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The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10
A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A Good Society
10/09/10
The National Sport of Rubbernecking
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Scanners 2
08/09/10
What mean Expendable?
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Adventures in Babyhaving
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Warning : Speculation
12/07/10 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
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Pipe Up
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More Bard News
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Volcanoes and Elections
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Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
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1987
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The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
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Modern Slash
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A Little Bit 'Special'
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Dead Happy
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Video Killed The Radio Stars
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Sunday Zoo
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Im Flugzeug
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Radio Times
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Intellectual Property
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A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
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'You Lecherous Moron'
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A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
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Steaks are High
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Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
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BBC Bashing
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09/11/09
No More Heroes
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What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
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Can Buy Me Love
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Memory Lane
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Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
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Are You Being Offended?
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My Generation
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Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
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Home Alone
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Context
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Summer is a bummer
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Time Waster
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Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
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Day 2
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A New Morning
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The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
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The New Blog
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The Return
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06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
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Not Good Enough
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Picture This
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Size Matters
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The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
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Not Ready
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Watched
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Wired
08/03/09
The Running Man
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Absent Friends
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Snow Wonder
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A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
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Take Hart
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What's In A Name?
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Don't Remake Me Over
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Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
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2008
30/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
What's Cooking?
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A Feel Good Story
21/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
The Curse
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He's Not The Messiah!
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Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08
Feeling Blu
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SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
02/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08
National Expression
20/11/08 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08 Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
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Jungle Nobodies
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The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
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Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
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David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
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My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
Double Trouble
Or, Ink done for no reason
06/04/09
Madame Tussuad's today unveiled a wax replica of Jonathan Ross. A replica of the presenter and his chat show set has been unveiled at the waxworks museum in London. Ross gave one of his own suits to clothe his clone.

Who makes these things? Why is it they never look anything like who they are supposed to be??

The Ross on the left looks like a thin Paul Ross and I know it isn't actually Paul, he wouldn't pose for one, he would appear as his own waxwork every day for a tenner.

What must it be like to be a celebrity and see these things once they are finished? I mean fuck. It is shite. If the queen hated Rolf Harris's picture of her, I can only begin to imagine what Jonathan Ross thinks of this monster.

It can only be put out of its misery.

This one of Louis Walsh and Simon Cowell looks like something from Thunderbirds. Not in a good way either. Like these two sad figures had just watched their entire family beaten, bummed and forced to fellate a shitting horse, then, asked to pose for a photo.

It isn't a new thing either, remember the cover to Sgt Pepper? The waxwork of The Beatles on that (That was borrowed from Tussuad's) is fucking terrible too. The only thing they got right was the fucking dozy look on Ringo's face, which he keeps to this day. That advert he does for Aviva, what is he going on about? "Don't call me by my stage name." He utters like a train loving bell-end. What should we call you then "Ringo" Artemis? Siegfried? or Richard? Oh, Richard, that name you have never used professionally? I see OK. "Get back" to not signing autographs and acting like everyone's special retard uncle, there's a good chap and leave the adverts that make no sense to people with charisma.

Another thing occurred to me today. Pointless tattoos. Why do they exist? I see men around my age walking around with this sort of shit on their arms. What purpose does it serve? To me, it just looks like they are cocks. And, not in a good way. Only in the way that they would force two Thunderbird puppets to watch their family being anally raped and forced into acts of bestiality.

Men are not the only offenders obviously. Women are just as bad. My ex for example. She had a pointless celtic tribe type of tattoo on her back. She couldn't see it and it served no purpose as far as I could see. Unless, when I wasn't around it made the tea and cooked dinners?

It is things like these that make me feel like I am alone in this world and drifting on a raft of semi-normallity in a sea of idiocy.

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