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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12
Back to the Future Too
30/12/11
Untold Cooper
29/12/11
A British Defence Against America
08/12/11
Not So Marvellous
07/12/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11
Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11
The Apprenticed
18/07/11
In Praise of ITV
03/07/11
Sick
28/06/11
Know the Drill
03/06/11
Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Tooth Story
26/05/11
Game of PWNS
24/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
West is West
19/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11
The Bored Room
11/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Future Shock
09/05/11
The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11
Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Small Talk
18/01/11 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
The Waiting Game
13/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
2011
05/01/11
2010
31/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Police Stop
30/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Z Cast
29/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10
A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A Good Society
10/09/10
The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Scanners 2
08/09/10
What mean Expendable?
07/09/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10 Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Pipe Up
23/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
27/03/10 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
1987
26/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Modern Slash
22/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Dead Happy
05/03/10 Average Rating: 3.3 out of 5
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10
Im Flugzeug
20/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Radio Times
17/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Intellectual Property
16/02/10
Happy Loveday
15/02/10
A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
13/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Friday The 13th
12/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Steaks are High
11/01/10 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
BBC Bashing
10/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09
No More Heroes
06/11/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
22/09/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09
Memory Lane
27/08/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Generation
14/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Home Alone
29/07/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Context
28/07/09 Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Time Waster
26/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
Day 2
23/07/09 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A New Morning
22/07/09 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The New Blog
09/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Return
05/05/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Double Trouble
06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Not Good Enough
30/03/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Picture This
24/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Size Matters
22/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09 Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5
Not Ready
16/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Watched
10/03/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Wired
08/03/09
The Running Man
26/02/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09 Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5
Absent Friends
09/02/09 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
Snow Wonder
02/02/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
20/01/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
Take Hart
18/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
What's In A Name?
17/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
03/01/09 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
2008
30/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
What's Cooking?
29/12/08 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
The Curse
19/12/08 Average Rating: 1.8 out of 5
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08
Feeling Blu
09/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
02/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08
National Expression
20/11/08 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08 Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
Run, Fatboy, Run
Or, Tweet off
25/02/09
Well. My after my brief sabbatical. I am back readers.

I must say I enjoyed my break. It was very useful. I haven't been anywhere of any note mind you. I have just been buying a house and getting fit and well. This is something I cannot recommend enough.
Running is very good for your soul. Just this very eve, I ran one whole mile without stopping or getting out of breathe too much. I now sit in my lovely tidy living room feeling like a king of the world and smug as a bug in a home made rug. This is merely the beginning of my betterment. I will soon be running miles and maybe even one day, be that Astronaut I always wanted to be. I hold a candle for this thought.

I also started learning to drive, something I have been meaning to complete for 15 years. I did make a start 15 years ago, but now I am back to finish. I am like the vehicular version of the Stone Roses second album. Let us hope I am not as big of an anti-climax.
I drove left, I drove right and I stopped. My teacher, a man called Lee, who is very nice, is a young and trendy looking chap. My first reaction when he was at the door was to think that he was a paper boy who had become snow blind and lost his way. It turns out, however, he is a boy who can teach me, a 32 year old man, to drive. He is wise beyond his seemingly small years. So impressed was he with my driving that he asked me to drive to his driving school. Once there, I was introduced to someone called "Morpheus" who said he thought I was "the one." He offered me two tablets and told me to take them. I was very excited. Turns out I was being groomed for the sex slave trade. I woke up in Wolverhampton with a bad back and sore arms. Never mind, there is always that long held hope I have of bringing down the matrix, and I don't mean shifting a printer down a floor.

I have also abandoned the Twitter ship. I cannot see the point in it,unless you are famous and need your ego fulfilled on a daily basis. I am sure the seven followers I had could not have given three fucks about my day at work. However, if you are Stephen Fry, people will follow your every move, even if you are stuck in a fucking lift

My account is now dead.

The world has obviously ticked on without me, I would never be so egotistical to suggest otherwise.

The Oscars was the usual parade of cringe, what with Huge Jacksons making a tit out of himself and that 5 previous winners conducting a circle jerk about the nominees. I was disappointed Mickey Rourke didn't win, but then again, I am more disappointed that he doesn't look like Mickey Rourke anymore, he looks like a half melted wax work of Mickey Rourke instead. Kate Winslet was this years winner of the "Sorry we didn't give you an award for that good thing you did, have this one instead." Or the "Martin Scorsese" as it has become known. Other than that, it was pretty predictable. Pleased for Heath Ledger, though disappointed they didn't have a Native American woman pick his up like Marlon Brando did. I know Brando wasn't dead, but he kind of was on the way.

Jade Goody, where to begin. There is so much wrong with this situation. I should say first that of course, it is horrible that she has cancer, but I really find it distasteful the amount of sales she is making off of the back of it. Every move she has made has been scrutinised and well paid for. She maintains that this is all in aid of her kids for when she is gone, but, I find it sadly indicative our our society that someone can earn money from their terminal illness. It is something that had it been in a film 10 years ago would have been denounced as sick and in very bad taste. Yet, on my train journeys I see people lapping these stories up in the red tops. As for leaving money for her kids as justification? That is cobblers. They can live off of her long after she is gone, in much the same way Callum Best/Bianca Gascoigne/Peaches Geldof are now.
My personal opinion is that, at this time, more than any, she should maintain some sort of dignity. Does anyone want to see footage of her having Chemotherapy? Or filmed dying, as she has suggested she may do? I feel that if she makes the big money that I am sure she is, a sizable portion should go to cancer research to help the people who aren't in the position to make money from their own sad demise. People will often lose houses through health care costs fighting cancer and I find this whole situation a little hard to take.

The Fleet Foxes revolution is continuing nicely, I know a few people now who have invested and are now very happy with their magnificent work. Keep on keeping on brothers.

Anyway, this is all for now, hopefully I won't be as long with my next entry.

Follow Ted (MrJohnRain) on Twitter
Comments about This Article
Don't call me Surley !
Comment By: Frank Drebin, 26 Feb 2009, Rating: 5/5
Surely you mean Feck.
Comment By: The Real Father Jack, 26 Feb 2009, Rating: 5/5
You can find out exclusively how angry I am by Smokey Earl's comments in the new addition of Heat Magazine!!
Comment By: Jordan, 26 Feb 2009, Rating: 4/5
Or Fick
Comment By: Father Jack, 26 Feb 2009, Rating: 5/5
Do you mean fuck !
Comment By: The c*nsorship board, 26 Feb 2009, Rating: 5/5
RE - Jade Goody "Fame is proof that people are gullible"
Comment By: Smokey Earl, 26 Feb 2009, Rating: 4/5
I couldn't agree with you more re Jade Goody, yes make some money for your kids, but I'm sure they & various members of her family will also make money from the whole thing long after she's gone, my main hope is that sooner rather than later people will get bored of magazines like OK & Heat & as they die, the whole Z List Celeb thing will die as well..F*ck off Jordan, F*ck off Peaches Geldof, F*ck off Callum Best & F*ck off anyone who's ever appeared on Big Brother...
Comment By: Smokey Earl, 26 Feb 2009, Rating: 5/5
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