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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12
Back to the Future Too
30/12/11
Untold Cooper
29/12/11
A British Defence Against America
08/12/11
Not So Marvellous
07/12/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11
Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11
The Apprenticed
18/07/11
In Praise of ITV
03/07/11
Sick
28/06/11
Know the Drill
03/06/11
Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Tooth Story
26/05/11
Game of PWNS
24/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
West is West
19/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11
The Bored Room
11/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Future Shock
09/05/11
The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11
Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Small Talk
18/01/11 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
The Waiting Game
13/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
2011
05/01/11
2010
31/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Police Stop
30/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Z Cast
29/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10
A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A Good Society
10/09/10
The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Scanners 2
08/09/10
What mean Expendable?
07/09/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10 Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
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Pipe Up
23/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
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Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
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1987
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The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
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Modern Slash
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A Little Bit 'Special'
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Dead Happy
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Video Killed The Radio Stars
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Sunday Zoo
01/03/10
Im Flugzeug
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Radio Times
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Intellectual Property
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Happy Loveday
15/02/10
A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
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'You Lecherous Moron'
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A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
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Steaks are High
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Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
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BBC Bashing
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Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09
No More Heroes
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What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
22/09/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09
Memory Lane
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Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
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Are You Being Offended?
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My Generation
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Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
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Home Alone
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Context
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Summer is a bummer
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Time Waster
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Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
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Day 2
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A New Morning
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The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
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The New Blog
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An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
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The Return
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Double Trouble
06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
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Not Good Enough
30/03/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Picture This
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Size Matters
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The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
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Not Ready
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Watched
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Wired
08/03/09
The Running Man
26/02/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Run, Fatboy, Run
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Absent Friends
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Snow Wonder
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A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
20/01/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
Take Hart
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What's In A Name?
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Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
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The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
03/01/09 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
2008
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What's Cooking?
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A Feel Good Story
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The Curse
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He's Not The Messiah!
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Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08
Feeling Blu
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SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
02/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08
National Expression
20/11/08 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08 Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
You Be The Judge
Or don't
20/01/09
Kelly Brook has been "axed" as a judge on "Britain's Got Talent". I hate it when they say axed, it is such a shit phrase, it is like when the tabloids say "Romp".
Simon Cowell said, "I have genuinely enjoyed working with Kelly, she is absolutely lovely and a complete professional.

"But it's become clear the format doesn't support another judge and we will never add a fourth judge to the panel."

What he means to say is that there just isn't room for another half wit with no discernable talent to judge some poor sod with a modicum of genuine talent. When did being a judge get to mean that you are less qualified than the person you are judging?

I cant drive, but by using Simon Cowell's bollocks logic, I am more than qualified to start giving driving lessons as soon as possible.

The biggest insult would be if I felt I could sing, then I went on X Factor and Danni fucking Minogue said I was not good enough. Hello?!
If it wasn't for her sister she would still be in Australia trying to get parts on Neighbours. She certainly wouldn't be the multi award winning singer she is to...hang on a minute, even with her sisters coat tails she is rubbish. Say, what gives???

To be a judge you must be able to give a qualified opinion, unless it is a beauty contest, which really, if we're honest, these things kind of are any way.

So, when I turned on Britain's Got Talent once and saw Piers Morgan was a judge, I felt that this was the end of civilisation as we know it. Then, I looked to his right and Amanda Holden was sat there. What do either of these people know that is worth broadcasting? Apart from lying and cheating on Les Dennis?

When I heard Kelly Brook was involved this time, well, that was it, I was starting to pack my things for the long drive to Beachy Head. It's not me that I worry about, it's our children, and their children. They will grow up thinking that Kelly Brook, Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan are fit to judge a talent contest, which is scary stuff.

Oh well, one down.

Follow Ted (MrJohnRain) on Twitter
Comments about This Article
I've moved on from watching her on telly to watching her when she goes to the shops.
Comment By: John, 21 Jan 2009, Rating: 4/5
I only needed to use it for 3 minutes, but yes I have used Sky + to watch Kelly Brook
Comment By: Edwin Hertz Van Rental, 21 Jan 2009, Rating: 4/5
Have you ever used Sky + for any programme featuring Kelly Brook?
Comment By: Smokey Earl, 21 Jan 2009, Rating: 3/5
Oh yes, sure it's easy to poke fun at Kelly Brook. However, I'll never forget the great public service she did in recommending Sky+. It changed my life.
Comment By: Chris, 21 Jan 2009, Rating: 5/5
Since I got Sky +, it has changed my life.
Comment By: Kelly Brook, 21 Jan 2009, Rating: 5/5
I think Kelly Brook displays 2 very clear syptoms of being top class talent.
Comment By: Totty, 21 Jan 2009, Rating: 3/5
I remember a few years back Viz carrying a very funny article claiming Keith Chegwin was suffering from A.N.T.S (Absolutely No Talent Syndrome)..This illness seems to be spreading worryingly throughout Show Business & I would certainly say Kelly Brook shows many symptoms!!
Comment By: Smokey Earl, 21 Jan 2009, Rating: 4/5
I think Demons was the last straw!!
Comment By: Smokey Earl, 21 Jan 2009, Rating: 3/5
A very astute comment for one so young. Was this before or after Demons?
Comment By: Ted, 20 Jan 2009, Rating: 3/5
I would just like to quote my 9 yr old daughter who said to me recently "Daddy why does ITV make such rubbish programmes?"....nuff said
Comment By: Smokey Earl, 20 Jan 2009, Rating: 3/5
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