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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12
Back to the Future Too
30/12/11
Untold Cooper
29/12/11
A British Defence Against America
08/12/11
Not So Marvellous
07/12/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11
Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11
The Apprenticed
18/07/11
In Praise of ITV
03/07/11
Sick
28/06/11
Know the Drill
03/06/11
Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Tooth Story
26/05/11
Game of PWNS
24/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
West is West
19/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11
The Bored Room
11/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Future Shock
09/05/11
The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11
Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Small Talk
18/01/11 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
The Waiting Game
13/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
2011
05/01/11
2010
31/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Police Stop
30/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Z Cast
29/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10
A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A Good Society
10/09/10
The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Scanners 2
08/09/10
What mean Expendable?
07/09/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10 Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Pipe Up
23/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
27/03/10 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
1987
26/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Modern Slash
22/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Dead Happy
05/03/10 Average Rating: 3.3 out of 5
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10
Im Flugzeug
20/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Radio Times
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Intellectual Property
16/02/10
Happy Loveday
15/02/10
A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
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Friday The 13th
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Steaks are High
11/01/10 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
BBC Bashing
10/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09
No More Heroes
06/11/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
22/09/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09
Memory Lane
27/08/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Generation
14/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
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Home Alone
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Context
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Summer is a bummer
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Time Waster
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Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
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Day 2
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A New Morning
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The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
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The New Blog
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Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
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An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
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The Return
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Double Trouble
06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
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Not Good Enough
30/03/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Picture This
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Size Matters
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The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09 Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5
Not Ready
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Watched
10/03/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Wired
08/03/09
The Running Man
26/02/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09 Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5
Absent Friends
09/02/09 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
Snow Wonder
02/02/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
20/01/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
Take Hart
18/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
What's In A Name?
17/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
03/01/09 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
2008
30/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
What's Cooking?
29/12/08 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
The Curse
19/12/08 Average Rating: 1.8 out of 5
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08
Feeling Blu
09/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
02/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08
National Expression
20/11/08 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08 Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
Don't Remake Me Over
Or, Heaven's probably above
16/01/09
What a rubbish week. I spent Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week in bed with some sort of horrible stomach virus. I don't think I will ever want to eat again. I feel like a spent firework.
The funniest thing about illness, as I am sure I have said before, is that you seem to romanticise about them when you are well. Ahh, a nice couple of days, tucked up under a cover, watching endless classic films and going for that wank record.
But, the reality, sadly, is that you wish you were at work the whole time. During the worst part of my illness, I found myself in a semi helucinagenic state. Feeling almost trapped in my bed. It was then I had the worst possible vision ever. A scary bat? No. A naked old lady? No. Shane Ritchie. But more about that later.

I don't know about you, obviously, but, I think I have had enough of the creative mire/shit heap that the the Television companies are leading us through at the moment. First there was Demons on ITV, then there is Hole in the Wall on BBC, which is the television equivalent of giving a production budget to a retarded wood pigeon and asking it to come up with a top Saturday night programme. Long gone it would seem are the halcyon days of Noel Edmonds covering celebrities in his gunge, now you have Dale Winton performing water sports with them.

Now, it would seem we have a dirge of remakes on our hands. I know unoriginality is nothing new, they have been doing it for years, but surely that is the problem?

I saw the trailer the recently for the new Five version of "Minder". I think if I were the creative team behind this, knowing that I could not get George Cole, I would have definitely gone for the logical choice to play his nephew, Shane Ritchie. Ritchie once again has a name that no one would actually have unless they are a small baby or a 76 year old man, Archie.

Archie Daly is apparently a chip off of the old block. I am also willing to bet that he is also a cunt, unlike his uncle, who was fun, charming, and extremely likable. Ritchie is none of these things. He is the opposite of each but with a twat thrown in for good measure.

The shows producers Talkback Thames, have avoided using the word "remake" and even Richie admits that would have had critics gunning for the show before it even started. "Is it risky? I don't know. Is the new Doctor Who a risk? Was Daniel Craig playing Bond a risk?"

No Shane, they weren't a risk as the people chosen to play them weren't utter, utter, utter cocks.

I also read that Martin Clunes is going to be playing Reginald Perrin in a remake of the famous show. Why? Do we really need to have it done again? It was fine the first time. Can we save time and just have Clunes buy a shovel, take a cab to Leonard Rossiter's grave, dig a hole, perch and shit into it? This can be filmed and put on instead. I am sure it will offer more charm and possibly be funnier.

It makes you fear for our children's future. They wont have to put up with repeats of classic programmes like we did, they will get inferior remakes instead, of perfectly serviceable shows.

In other news, a Christian bus driver, Ron Heather, in Southampton refused to drive a bus because it had one of those Atheist adverts on the side. He said that, "I felt that I could not drive that bus, I told my managers and they said they haven't got another one and I thought I better go home, so I did.
Mr Heather said he was shocked at the "starkness" of the advert

"I think it was the starkness of this advert which implied there was no God."

What a cock. I mean, it is just another point of view, if Carlsberg had advertised on the side saying that it is "Probably the best lager in the world". Would he have again then shit his pants and gone home because he likes Beck's?

Probably.


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Comments about This Article
And we had to sit through all that religious clap trap when we were at school, spoon fed it as if it were all true, and we didn't kick up a stink, even though I strongly hold the belief that religion is the route of and excuse for almost all evil throughout the history of the world.
Comment By: Opinionated, 18 Jan 2009, Rating: 5/5
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