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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12
Back to the Future Too
30/12/11
Untold Cooper
29/12/11
A British Defence Against America
08/12/11
Not So Marvellous
07/12/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11
Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11
The Apprenticed
18/07/11
In Praise of ITV
03/07/11
Sick
28/06/11
Know the Drill
03/06/11
Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Tooth Story
26/05/11
Game of PWNS
24/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
West is West
19/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11
The Bored Room
11/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Future Shock
09/05/11
The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11
Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Small Talk
18/01/11 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
The Waiting Game
13/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
2011
05/01/11
2010
31/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Police Stop
30/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Z Cast
29/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10
A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A Good Society
10/09/10
The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Scanners 2
08/09/10
What mean Expendable?
07/09/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10 Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Pipe Up
23/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
27/03/10 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
1987
26/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Modern Slash
22/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Dead Happy
05/03/10 Average Rating: 3.3 out of 5
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10
Im Flugzeug
20/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Radio Times
17/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Intellectual Property
16/02/10
Happy Loveday
15/02/10
A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
13/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Friday The 13th
12/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Steaks are High
11/01/10 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
BBC Bashing
10/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09
No More Heroes
06/11/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
22/09/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09
Memory Lane
27/08/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Generation
14/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Home Alone
29/07/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Context
28/07/09 Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Time Waster
26/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
Day 2
23/07/09 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A New Morning
22/07/09 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The New Blog
09/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Return
05/05/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Double Trouble
06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Not Good Enough
30/03/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Picture This
24/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Size Matters
22/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09 Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5
Not Ready
16/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Watched
10/03/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Wired
08/03/09
The Running Man
26/02/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09 Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5
Absent Friends
09/02/09 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
Snow Wonder
02/02/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
20/01/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
Take Hart
18/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
What's In A Name?
17/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
03/01/09 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
2008
30/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
What's Cooking?
29/12/08 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
The Curse
19/12/08 Average Rating: 1.8 out of 5
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08
Feeling Blu
09/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
02/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08
National Expression
20/11/08 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08 Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
The Future Is Already Written
Or, Goodbye old friend...
07/01/09
Woolworths is now officially no more. I know, this was a couple of days ago, but I'm not the fucking news, I'm just a curmudgeon with a blog. Sue me. Well, don't.
I think it will be a sad year for this, a few old stores may well go the way of the Worth. There must be some sort of Dead Pool for old and established retail outlets that could go under in 2009? Well, if there is, my choice is Currys or W.H Smith.

Does anyone actually go to W.H Smith anymore? I only hope they still do those pencil cases that have the drawings of pencils and rulers on the side. They were really good for drawing tippex cocks and soaking up all the inevitable leaking ink inside. Do kids still have to use fountain pens? Or do computers do all that for them now? They probably have robot teachers and dinner ladies that can make what ever dinner you want in their stomach ovens.



Remember to mark on your calendar for some tip-top movie Sci-Fi predictions for 2009. These are :

We Will Perfect Time Travel and Upload Our Consciousness to Computers :
Freejack (1992)
In 2009, we will use time travel to steal bodies from the past moments before death. The still-living bodies will then be sold to the highest bidder, who may have already uploaded their consciousness to a machine. The lucky buyer will then take over the stolen body and start life anew.

A Giant Monster Will Destroy New York :
Cloverfield (2008)
On Saturday, May 23, a giant monster, probably of extraterrestrial origin, will tear through New York. It will also carry with it a set of killer parasites. At the time of the initial attack, the monster will be a mere newborn, suggesting that this first round of destruction is just the beginning.

A Virus Will Kill 90% of Humanity :
I Am Legend (2007)
A virus genetically engineered to cure cancer will mutant into a lethal airborne strain. The virus will kill 90% of humans, mutate the majority of survivors into fearsome, vampiric monsters, and leave a small minority unaffected. Following the outbreak, most uninfected humans will be killed or commit suicide.

Americans Will Struggle Through a Post-Apocalyptic Existence
The Postman (1997)
Seventeen years after an apocalyptic event, Americans will continue to live without a postal service, radio system, or central government. Instead, they will live in isolated communities, waiting for signs of civilization's return. And, in 2009, a man in a postal uniform will start visiting these communities, carrying with him what appears to be a letter from the provisional government with promises for a better future.

President Cheney Will Pass the Patriot Act III
Death of a President (2006)
After the assassination of President Bush in 2006, blame for his death was erroneously laid upon a Syrian-born man. President Cheney authorized attacks against Syria and Iran and was reelected, Tony Blair stepped down to join Cheney’s Anti-Assassination Commission, and misery climbed along with gas prices. (You don't remember any of this?) Next year, Cheney will go to war with Cuba over the Guantanamo Bay detention camp, extend surveillance over Iranian and Arab Americans, and convince Congress to pass a new version of the Patriot Act.

So, there is something to look forward to eh? I myself still can't wait for the promise of Hover boards and flying cars in 2015. Also, I can't fucking wait for Jaws 19.

I am always a little miffed when I think of Back to the Future Part 2. There was a behind the scenes making of special on TV in which Robert Zemeckis, the director, explained that the hover boards were prototypes and would be in shops very soon, I was so excited, I went to school (I was 12) and told everyone. They laughed at me and said it was a joke, I was so annoyed at them all and had so many rows with them all. Now, I see that same interview and instantly notice he is smirking and in NO WAY being serious. I was such a trusting child.

My friend Mark pointed out to me today the story that Patrick Swayze may only live 2 years. "That is so stupid" He said, "He is clearly older than 2." That, is comic genius for you.

I see the BBC are not finished with Jonathan Ross. Not only has he had a 3 month suspension, but now he has to talk to Lee Evans, poor man, gardening leave and then a twatty Norman Wisdom. I think he has had enough punishment now.






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