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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12
Back to the Future Too
30/12/11
Untold Cooper
29/12/11
A British Defence Against America
08/12/11
Not So Marvellous
07/12/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11
Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11
The Apprenticed
18/07/11
In Praise of ITV
03/07/11
Sick
28/06/11
Know the Drill
03/06/11
Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Tooth Story
26/05/11
Game of PWNS
24/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
West is West
19/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11
The Bored Room
11/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Future Shock
09/05/11
The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11
Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Small Talk
18/01/11 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
The Waiting Game
13/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
2011
05/01/11
2010
31/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Police Stop
30/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Z Cast
29/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10
A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A Good Society
10/09/10
The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Scanners 2
08/09/10
What mean Expendable?
07/09/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10 Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Pipe Up
23/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
27/03/10 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
1987
26/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Modern Slash
22/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Dead Happy
05/03/10 Average Rating: 3.3 out of 5
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10
Im Flugzeug
20/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Radio Times
17/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Intellectual Property
16/02/10
Happy Loveday
15/02/10
A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
13/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Friday The 13th
12/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Steaks are High
11/01/10 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
BBC Bashing
10/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09
No More Heroes
06/11/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
22/09/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09
Memory Lane
27/08/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Generation
14/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Home Alone
29/07/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Context
28/07/09 Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Time Waster
26/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
Day 2
23/07/09 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A New Morning
22/07/09 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The New Blog
09/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Return
05/05/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Double Trouble
06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Not Good Enough
30/03/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Picture This
24/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Size Matters
22/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09 Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5
Not Ready
16/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Watched
10/03/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Wired
08/03/09
The Running Man
26/02/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09 Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5
Absent Friends
09/02/09 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
Snow Wonder
02/02/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
20/01/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
Take Hart
18/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
What's In A Name?
17/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
03/01/09 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
2008
30/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
What's Cooking?
29/12/08 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
The Curse
19/12/08 Average Rating: 1.8 out of 5
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08
Feeling Blu
09/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
02/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08
National Expression
20/11/08 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08 Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
Sneaky Christmas
Or, You Maniacs! You blew it up!
10/12/08
Christmas comes but once a year, geese get fat and old men have money in their hats. I think I am discovering that this year, more than any other, Christmas can really sneak up on you if you're not careful.
I never used to understand the Christmas panic when I was younger. I used to think that people had plenty of time to get their shopping together, to get their geese fat and put money into an old man's hat. But, how wrong I was. For, it occurred to me today, that it is Christmas day two weeks tomorrow, now, that is scary, because to me, it doesn't even mildly feel like the build up to Christmas, it may as well be Easter. Mind you (satire coming up) by January the 1st, they are preparing for Easter aren't they? Selling eggs and that. Yea, right on (End of satire).
I can totally understand now how people get to Christmas Eve and realise they haven't done a bit of shopping. I think we need people like that, without these people, we wouldn't have rubbish presents.
A couple of years ago, I was in a secret Santa thing with my old work, the budget was £5. I got a lady, so, I went to The Body Shop and bought a nice, and I would say acceptable, smelly set of woman smells.
In return, I got a small child size plastic drinking cup of the WWE wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin, this cup was not an ordinary cup though, no, you could put it in the freezer and it would go cold.
Now, that really fucked me off. I didn't put a huge amount of thought into my gift I know, but, it is a good gift for a lady I think and it was actually a fiver. The cup I received was in a tattered box like it had either been bought at a market or found in a bin, either way, it didn't cost five pounds, more like fifty pence. This is why, I will not take part in any Secret Santa. I always get burned.
Luckily, this year, I have bought my family presents nice and early and on-line, which is the best thing to do if you are lazy and know what you want. As I write this they are nestling under our very small tree that we bought for £10 in Tesco. It is a tree that you can buy if you are the parents of Stuart Little, a Borrower or the Muppet Babies.
I must say, what impresses me most about The Muppet Babies is that they all remained such good friends when they got older, that is very rare these days. Whilst we are on the topic of cartoons, M.A.S.K. crusaders work overtime, fighting crime? Are they getting time and a half or are they working for free? The fact that they even choose to mention that they are working over time leads me to believe that it is worth their while to do so. So, it must be time and a half at least, no wander they are inept, if you had something that easy going, you would play it out for as long as possible too.

I see Le Crunch is continuing to hit us all very hard. I read today that Wooly and Worth are now totally fucked. This is sad news as how will they be able to buy their dog bones and...what ever sheep eat....grass?

While we are talking about news, I also read today that scientists have found a Black Hole at the centre of our galaxy. I knew it. Those bloody scientists in Switzerland, making their big bang related Large Hadron Collider, have made a hole in space. When will they ever learn to stop meddling?? Do they really need a man being chased by monkeys (who now rule the earth) to shout at the Statue of Liberty on a beach to make them stop? Do they want a Dinosaur to eat them when they are on the toilet? Do they want a robot to kill thier unborn son? Do they want an alien to impregnate their mouths? Do they?

Of course, it might not be their fault, this may mean that even space is feeling the effects of Le Crunch and making holes out of worry? It may be a giant black monster coming (like in The Fifth Element) to blow us up, but instead of wanting a magic red headed space lady, they want the safe return of Wooly and Worth to our screens.
We just don't know right now. I literally don't, I don't know if you noticed?
If anyone would like to to assess any further scientific breakthroughs or discoveries without reading much about it yet jumping to ignorant conclusions for humorous (or not) effect, please let me know.

Google have announced their year-end Zeitgeist, the tool which reveals what internet users are searching for. They say that people mainly searched for Sarah Palin, Facebook and Euro 2008. I suspect that Google are hiding the truth here. I strongly sense a cover up. Surely, the word "Porn" must be quite high on their list year in, year out? But, it would appear, that based on their list, no one uses Google to look for porn. Well, I'm convinced.

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