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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12

Back to the Future Too
30/12/11

Untold Cooper
29/12/11

A British Defence Against America
08/12/11

Not So Marvellous
07/12/11
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11

Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11

The Apprenticed
18/07/11

In Praise of ITV
03/07/11

Sick
28/06/11

Know the Drill
03/06/11

Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Tooth Story
26/05/11

Game of PWNS
24/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
West is West
19/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11

The Bored Room
11/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Future Shock
09/05/11

The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11

Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Small Talk
18/01/11
Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
The Waiting Game
13/01/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
2011
05/01/11

2010
31/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Police Stop
30/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Z Cast
29/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10

A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A Good Society
10/09/10

The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Scanners 2
08/09/10

What mean Expendable?
07/09/10
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10
Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10
Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Pipe Up
23/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10

The Apple
27/03/10
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
1987
26/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10

Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Modern Slash
22/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Dead Happy
05/03/10
Average Rating: 3.3 out of 5
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10

Im Flugzeug
20/02/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Radio Times
17/02/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Intellectual Property
16/02/10

Happy Loveday
15/02/10

A Load of Pony
25/01/10

I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A National Treasure
15/01/10

Snow
13/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Friday The 13th
12/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Steaks are High
11/01/10
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
BBC Bashing
10/11/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09

No More Heroes
06/11/09
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09

Jellyneck
22/09/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09

Memory Lane
27/08/09
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Shitting Stars
26/08/09

The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Generation
14/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Home Alone
29/07/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Context
28/07/09
Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Time Waster
26/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09

He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
Day 2
23/07/09
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A New Morning
22/07/09
Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
The Sadness
21/07/09

Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The New Blog
09/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Return
05/05/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Double Trouble
06/04/09

It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Not Good Enough
30/03/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Picture This
24/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Size Matters
22/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09
Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5
Not Ready
16/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Watched
10/03/09
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Wired
08/03/09

The Running Man
26/02/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09
Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5
Absent Friends
09/02/09
Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
Snow Wonder
02/02/09
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
20/01/09
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
Take Hart
18/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
What's In A Name?
17/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09

The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09

Demon Seed
03/01/09
Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
2008
30/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
What's Cooking?
29/12/08
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
The Curse
19/12/08
Average Rating: 1.8 out of 5
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08

Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08

Feeling Blu
09/12/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
SHT
07/12/08

Gategate
02/12/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08

National Expression
20/11/08
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08
Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08
Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Cage Strain
11/11/08

A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08

For What It's Worth
Or, Wooly minded

27/11/08
Woolworths may soon be no more. Poor Wooly and Worth will be forced to beg for money or administer hand jobs just to survive. Whilst many people will blame Le Crunch, or Money Aids (as I am now calling it) I have a different theory. Greed.
To put it another way, I blame you, the public.

Every time you get yourself some pick and mix, and you help yourself to one or two without paying for it, you are literally shitting in Wooly and Worth's faces. Yes, I know what you are thinking, they do just look like silly puppets, but these puppets have feelings too. It is ever so easy to blame the crippling Money Aids that is kicking the economy in the balls, but Wooly and Worth really rely on their pick and mix takings. That is why, if you ever want to buy a CD or DVD from one of their shops it is like trying to get a baby to cook your dinner. all they care about is the sweets.

I suspect that the government won't be bailing Wooly or Worth out. Just think how many cola cubes or white mice Gordon Brown and Alister Darling has tucked into for free, on Wooly and Worth's dollar, cunts. Now, just when Wooly and Worth need them, they are nowhere to be seen.
It's not as if Northern Rock sold CD's or cups is it? What was so special about them that made Brown bail them out? Where they a cute sheep or dog? No, is the answer, they weren't.
Wooly and Worth are an institution, they actually met Darth Vader, Northern Rock bloody didn't, arseholes.

There will be no more Jackie Chan coming round to see Wooly and Worth, he wouldn't touch them with a shitty stick now, which makes him just as much of a cunt in my book.

They will of course have to lay off all their staff too, which will be awful. All those highly skilled workers laid off, it's just like the miners again.

On a side note, Graham Norton today said he will be starring as drag artist Zaza in the West End musical of La Cage aux Folles. Now, I know drag artists traditionally look a bit "different" Norton looks like a fucking right old boot. He looks Simon Weston in drag. Sorry, I know that is harsh, poor Simon Weston.

*Since I have written my blog today, Gordon Brown announced that the government is working to ensure that Woolworths stores remain open over the Christmas period. Well done Gordon, together we can fight Coin Cancer. You see, without that pick and mix, even he would be fucked.

Follow Ted (MrJohnRain) on Twitter

Comments about This Article

Fuck Woolworths and the half-witted, inbred morons they employ. I can buy my CD's, DVD's and saucers in Tescos for a fraction of the cost. I wish every shop was Tesco's! Let's hope Boots are next to go down - smug cunts, looking down on me when I buy my crab-paste and pile cream!
Comment By: Lucas Baldwin, 27 Nov 2008, Rating: 2/5

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