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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12
Back to the Future Too
30/12/11
Untold Cooper
29/12/11
A British Defence Against America
08/12/11
Not So Marvellous
07/12/11
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11
A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11
Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11
The Apprenticed
18/07/11
In Praise of ITV
03/07/11
Sick
28/06/11
Know the Drill
03/06/11
Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11
My Tooth Story
26/05/11
Game of PWNS
24/05/11
West is West
19/05/11
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11
The Bored Room
11/05/11
The Future Shock
09/05/11
The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11
Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11
Small Talk
18/01/11
The Waiting Game
13/01/11
2011
05/01/11
2010
31/12/10
Police Stop
30/12/10
Z Cast
29/12/10
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10
A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10
A Good Society
10/09/10
The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10
Scanners 2
08/09/10
What mean Expendable?
07/09/10
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10
Adventures in driving
07/07/10
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10
Pipe Up
23/04/10
More Bard News
21/04/10
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
27/03/10
1987
26/03/10
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10
Modern Slash
22/03/10
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10
Dead Happy
05/03/10
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10
Im Flugzeug
20/02/10
Radio Times
17/02/10
Intellectual Property
16/02/10
Happy Loveday
15/02/10
A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10
A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
13/01/10
Friday The 13th
12/01/10
Steaks are High
11/01/10
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09
BBC Bashing
10/11/09
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09
No More Heroes
06/11/09
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
22/09/09
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09
Memory Lane
27/08/09
Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09
My Generation
14/08/09
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09
Home Alone
29/07/09
Context
28/07/09
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09
Time Waster
26/07/09
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09
Day 2
23/07/09
A New Morning
22/07/09
The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09
The New Blog
09/07/09
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09
The Return
05/05/09
Double Trouble
06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09
Not Good Enough
30/03/09
Picture This
24/03/09
Size Matters
22/03/09
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09
Not Ready
16/03/09
Watched
10/03/09
Wired
08/03/09
The Running Man
26/02/09
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09
Absent Friends
09/02/09
Snow Wonder
02/02/09
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09
You Be The Judge
20/01/09
Take Hart
18/01/09
What's In A Name?
17/01/09
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
03/01/09
2008
30/12/08
What's Cooking?
29/12/08
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08
The Curse
19/12/08
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08
Feeling Blu
09/12/08
SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
02/12/08
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08
For What It's Worth
27/11/08
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08
National Expression
20/11/08
A View To A Job
18/11/08
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08
The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08
I am Legend
04/11/08
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
11/01/12
Back to the Future Too
30/12/11
Untold Cooper
29/12/11
A British Defence Against America
08/12/11
Not So Marvellous
07/12/11
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11
A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11
Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11
The Apprenticed
18/07/11
In Praise of ITV
03/07/11
Sick
28/06/11
Know the Drill
03/06/11
Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11
My Tooth Story
26/05/11
Game of PWNS
24/05/11
West is West
19/05/11
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11
The Bored Room
11/05/11
The Future Shock
09/05/11
The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11
Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11
Small Talk
18/01/11
The Waiting Game
13/01/11
2011
05/01/11
2010
31/12/10
Police Stop
30/12/10
Z Cast
29/12/10
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10
A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10
A Good Society
10/09/10
The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10
Scanners 2
08/09/10
What mean Expendable?
07/09/10
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10
Adventures in driving
07/07/10
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10
Pipe Up
23/04/10
More Bard News
21/04/10
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
27/03/10
1987
26/03/10
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10
Modern Slash
22/03/10
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10
Dead Happy
05/03/10
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10
Im Flugzeug
20/02/10
Radio Times
17/02/10
Intellectual Property
16/02/10
Happy Loveday
15/02/10
A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10
A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
13/01/10
Friday The 13th
12/01/10
Steaks are High
11/01/10
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09
BBC Bashing
10/11/09
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09
No More Heroes
06/11/09
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
22/09/09
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09
Memory Lane
27/08/09
Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09
My Generation
14/08/09
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09
Home Alone
29/07/09
Context
28/07/09
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09
Time Waster
26/07/09
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09
Day 2
23/07/09
A New Morning
22/07/09
The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09
The New Blog
09/07/09
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09
The Return
05/05/09
Double Trouble
06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09
Not Good Enough
30/03/09
Picture This
24/03/09
Size Matters
22/03/09
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09
Not Ready
16/03/09
Watched
10/03/09
Wired
08/03/09
The Running Man
26/02/09
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09
Absent Friends
09/02/09
Snow Wonder
02/02/09
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09
You Be The Judge
20/01/09
Take Hart
18/01/09
What's In A Name?
17/01/09
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
03/01/09
2008
30/12/08
What's Cooking?
29/12/08
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08
The Curse
19/12/08
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08
Feeling Blu
09/12/08
SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
02/12/08
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08
For What It's Worth
27/11/08
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08
National Expression
20/11/08
A View To A Job
18/11/08
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08
The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08
I am Legend
04/11/08
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
| The Waiting Game is a boring game. 13/01/11 |  | ||||||||||||||||
| Being an expectant father, this close to the big "push" is hard work. Each time my wife makes any kind of huff or a puff (which is very often if you carry round a baby in your stomach) I am jumping around in my mind as I suspect it is hot towel time. As I write this, I am 12 approximate days away from becoming a fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL father, and I just want to get it over with.
All the members of our antenatal class have now (apart from us and another couple) all delivered their bundles and are all looking suitably exhausted and ecstatic. We went to see one of the happy couples and their baby. It was fascinating to see how quickly they had learnt and adapted to be super parents. They assured me it was all trial and error, but I think it was still very impressive. Seeing their baby triggered the thought it my head that we will have our own one very soon. Up until that point it was a mild concept of a far off event, like thinking about what you want for Christmas in January, but seeing a real live baby in action was quite sobering and also highly exciting. I can't wait to get going. Our living room is currently living in the shadow of a birthing pool. We inflated it recently and decided that we may as well leave it up - you never know when we might need it. I had a little sit in it and I can confirm it is very comfortable and pleasant. I am sure that this childbirth lark will be plain sailing. Almost as much as I am sure that bricks make great flotation devices. The other night I had a dream, which apparently is very common amongst parents to be. My dream was that my baby had arrived and was about the size of an action figure. It was very cute and looked like a tiny version of my wife. Suddenly, in the dream, a friend of mine called my phone and I left the room to take the call (for some bizarre reason). My friend on the phone was being highly vague and couldn't remember why he had called and eventually said he would call back. When I went back into the room with the baby, I couldn't find it anywhere. When I woke up I was terrified. I know of at least two other people who have had a dream along those lines, a tiny baby that goes missing. Still, I suppose in terms of dream psychology, it is easier to explain than that dream I had about me being unable to hold and keep up that big pink pole. Now that is a real mystery. ITV3 has outdone itself once again. Fresh from the scheduling success of showing the On The Buses trilogy on Christmas Day, they recently showed all of the Pierce Brosnan Bond films. Watching them again in order, is a really interesting study of a steep and rapid decline. As Bond films go, Goldeneye is sheer perfection. Brosnan looks good, Sean Bean is on top form and the plot sort of hangs together. Tomorrow Never Dies represents the start of things going rotten with Bond. The plot is absolutely nonsensical and the villain is appalling. In case you are unaware, the villain of the piece is Elliot Carver (Jonathan Pryce) who is a poor man's Rupert Murdoch. Carver decides to instigate a war between China and Britain using a Stealth Boat and his newspaper. Carver intends to launch a missile on China and frame Britain. When the plan goes wrong and Carver finds out that both Britain and China know it is him behind it all, he decides to launch the missile anyway. Never mind that this doesn't make any sense and would defy the purpose of having a Stealth Boat or stirring up things in the media. He may as well have walked into Beijing and been photographed throwing a Union Jack grenade, with his name on it, at a horse. The tragedy for Brosnan is that he got Bond at the wrong time. Not only were the stories drying up but he was also beginning to lose his good looks. By the time of Die Another Day, he had lost the look of a top spy who could have any woman in the world at any time and found the look of an IT manager from Staines who had got lost in Cuba. What next for the ITV3 marathon of quality? We wait with bated breath. Follow Ted (MrJohnRain) on Twitter
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