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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Back to the Future Too
30/12/11

Untold Cooper
29/12/11

A British Defence Against America
08/12/11

Not So Marvellous
07/12/11
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11

Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11

The Apprenticed
18/07/11

In Praise of ITV
03/07/11

Sick
28/06/11

Know the Drill
03/06/11

Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Tooth Story
26/05/11

Game of PWNS
24/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
West is West
19/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11

The Bored Room
11/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Future Shock
09/05/11

The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11

Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Small Talk
18/01/11
Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
The Waiting Game
13/01/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
2011
05/01/11

2010
31/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Police Stop
30/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Z Cast
29/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10

A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A Good Society
10/09/10

The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Scanners 2
08/09/10

What mean Expendable?
07/09/10
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10
Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10
Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Pipe Up
23/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10

The Apple
27/03/10
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
1987
26/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10

Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Modern Slash
22/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Dead Happy
05/03/10
Average Rating: 3.3 out of 5
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10

Im Flugzeug
20/02/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Radio Times
17/02/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Intellectual Property
16/02/10

Happy Loveday
15/02/10

A Load of Pony
25/01/10

I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A National Treasure
15/01/10

Snow
13/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Friday The 13th
12/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Steaks are High
11/01/10
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
BBC Bashing
10/11/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09

No More Heroes
06/11/09
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09

Jellyneck
22/09/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09

Memory Lane
27/08/09
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Shitting Stars
26/08/09

The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Generation
14/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Home Alone
29/07/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Context
28/07/09
Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Time Waster
26/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09

He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
Day 2
23/07/09
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A New Morning
22/07/09
Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
The Sadness
21/07/09

Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The New Blog
09/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Return
05/05/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Double Trouble
06/04/09

It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Not Good Enough
30/03/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Picture This
24/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Size Matters
22/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09
Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5
Not Ready
16/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Watched
10/03/09
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Wired
08/03/09

The Running Man
26/02/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09
Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5
Absent Friends
09/02/09
Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
Snow Wonder
02/02/09
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
20/01/09
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
Take Hart
18/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
What's In A Name?
17/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09

The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09

Demon Seed
03/01/09
Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
2008
30/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
What's Cooking?
29/12/08
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
The Curse
19/12/08
Average Rating: 1.8 out of 5
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08

Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08

Feeling Blu
09/12/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
SHT
07/12/08

Gategate
02/12/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08

National Expression
20/11/08
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08
Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08
Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Cage Strain
11/11/08

A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08

The National Sport of Rubbernecking
Watching the detectives

09/09/10
Rubbernecking is a popular pastime for most. You will find that most delays on a motorway are caused by people slowing down to look at accidents. Not to help you understand, no, just to see if there are body parts strewn over the three lanes and people running around waving their hands while on fire, strangely putting on weight while doing it. For the most part, the job of dealing with such road based drama falls to the police force. They are the ones that actually get their hands dirty and help people, rather than watching and hoping for trauma.

A few years ago, some bright spark in the television industry had the spectacular idea of following the police around with a camera. The people rejoiced and danced around their living rooms as this would now allow rubbernecking on a grand scale. Now you would see the car crashes, you could now bear witness as the police kick someone's door down at six in the morning and collectively tutt as some "idiot" drives too fast in a residential area. Secretly of course, we all love seeing people get into trouble. As long as it isn't us, we dont mind. What is better than getting away with it? Seeing someone else getting in trouble for it.

Last night I spent a night home alone as my wife was out at a posh party. So, I being the mature grown up decided to watch the episode of "Motorway Cops" I had taped from the night before. You may think that as I have spent most of my time pointing out that people enjoy revelling in other people's misery, that I am somehow above all of this. Well I am not. In fact any show with a cop or a camera and I am similarly addicted. While "Cops with cameras" is good, it doesn't have the potential for motor way carnage in the same way that "Motorway Cops" does, not to mention that "Motorway Cops" is BBC and therefore doesn't have adverts and therefore allows more time for crashes and carnage. The latest edition did not disappoint, there were a couple of examples of motor way "prang" aftermath's and a ninety three year old man driving the wrong way on a motorway.

Motorway Cops is important for another reason, it also gives Jamie Theakston much needed voice over work. He seems to be the guy to guy for BBC programmes that feature any kind of camera crews following people around. I must say his voice is reassuring and really helps put you in the shoes of a motorway cop. I dont think Orson Welles could have done any better. I do worry about wearing Theakston out though, he seems very busy, if Richard Burton were still alive, I would love to have heard him do "Nudist Colony Cops" or something like that. What about Alec Guinness doing "Traffic Warden Patrol" or Lawrence Olivier on "Vets in action"? Come on BBC, stop over burdening Theakston and get some real "thesps" involved, we pay a license fee you know. Poor Theakston.

Mind you, he does enjoy pain.

Follow Ted (MrJohnRain) on Twitter

Comments about This Article

My wife watches all these cop shows when there's "nothing else on". How about letting me watch a DVD eh?
Comment By: @johnneyred, 10 Sep 2010, Rating: 5/5

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