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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Back to the Future Too
30/12/11
Untold Cooper
29/12/11
A British Defence Against America
08/12/11
Not So Marvellous
07/12/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
A Quarter Life Crisis
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Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11
Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11
The Apprenticed
18/07/11
In Praise of ITV
03/07/11
Sick
28/06/11
Know the Drill
03/06/11
Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Tooth Story
26/05/11
Game of PWNS
24/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
West is West
19/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11
The Bored Room
11/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Future Shock
09/05/11
The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11
Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Small Talk
18/01/11 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
The Waiting Game
13/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
2011
05/01/11
2010
31/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Police Stop
30/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Z Cast
29/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10
A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A Good Society
10/09/10
The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Scanners 2
08/09/10
What mean Expendable?
07/09/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10 Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Pipe Up
23/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
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Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
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1987
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The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Modern Slash
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A Little Bit 'Special'
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Dead Happy
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Video Killed The Radio Stars
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Sunday Zoo
01/03/10
Im Flugzeug
20/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Radio Times
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Intellectual Property
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15/02/10
A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
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'You Lecherous Moron'
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A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
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Steaks are High
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Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
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BBC Bashing
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09/11/09
No More Heroes
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What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
22/09/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09
Memory Lane
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Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
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Are You Being Offended?
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My Generation
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Home Alone
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Context
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Time Waster
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Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
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Day 2
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The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
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The New Blog
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The Return
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06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
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Picture This
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Size Matters
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I Am Modern Man
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Watched
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Wired
08/03/09
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Absent Friends
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Snow Wonder
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A New Breed of Hero
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You Be The Judge
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Take Hart
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What's In A Name?
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Don't Remake Me Over
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Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
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The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
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What's Cooking?
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A Feel Good Story
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He's Not The Messiah!
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Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
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10/12/08
Feeling Blu
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SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
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For What It's Worth
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23/11/08
National Expression
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The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
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Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
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David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
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I am Legend
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Setting The President In The Art World
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My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
Adventures in Babyhaving
Let the Shipwrecks of Others be Your Beacon
06/09/10
Since last we spoke, I have become embroiled (as Hollywood would like you to believe) in Parenthood. Not the film you understand, I wish, but the act.
Yes, in January 2011, I will become a father to a baby (a human one) and I have been gradually getting my head around it all.

We found out in May while on vacation (as Hollywood would have you believe) in Florida. There had been biological suspicions for a few days and a test was sought. It turned out that parents we were and thousands of miles away from home we were too. It was an odd sensation and if my child is reading this in thirty years time, sorry, but it was. It was like the world falling out from under you only for you then to regain a foothold and feel the crash in every part of your being. Like a trampoline of wild emotion.

We began all terrified and shocked, and then slowly began to get excited and try to enjoy the lions share of holiday that was left ahead of us. My wife of course could no longer drink (well, she could but it would only bring about the risk of flipper babies) so the holiday was still going to be a dry-driving experience for her. But, we still had a good time and came back to England knowing that our holiday was ongoing now until January. That is when the real work begins.

We have since been adjusting to life and getting the idea of two becoming three. Selfishness, while not a big problem at the moment, will also have to become a thing of the past. From late January, I can no longer play my PS3 whenever there is a spare moment or go out for wild nights on the town with my many friends. Seeing as the latter never happens anyway, it wont require too much adjustment.

Money will also be affected. While we are not rich, we are not poor, but from January, with only one of us working, we will be. I could always sell that hair I have been harvesting I suppose?

I have also had to move out of my "office" (trumped up spare room) and into the same "office" (another trumped up spare room) as my wife. It's nice to share a room again. It reminds me of when we first moved in to our pokey one bedroom flat together. We have started the process of painting again (something I vowed never to do again after spending weeks painting our current house before we moved in) and have picked some baby friendly colours. It is actually genuinely exciting. It has also spurred us into decorating the house and making it a nice place to live. The "baby room" is now becoming a reality, rather than a concept.

We went for a long walk yesterday in Goring and investigated our area. We found some lovely wooded area near the beach and, quite by accident, ended up going for a three and a half mile walk. We talked about the future and life with a baby. It is all getting very real and very exciting. Back in May/June it felt surreal and pretend. Now, my wife has a bump and we have a blurred picture of the baby.

We went for the first scan in July. After a short search, there it was, my baby. It was as you would expect, baby like, but very small. Suddenly, without warning it moved. It didn't just move however, it floated around. It gave an almost squid like jolt and then floated back into its place. It repeated this a fair few times during the scan. It had never occurred to me that they move around like that when they are that small. I thought that was just for the big boys but there you go. The scan-man also got it to turn and face us (by getting my wife to wobble around) which was quite eerie seeing your unborn child look at you.

That was it. As soon as I saw it that scan, I was overcome with excitement and an indomitable sense of adventure. I cant wait until January. Up until this point, it was a vague notion, I was to be a dad of something that for all intents and purposes was imaginary. Now it had a form, it moved and it had a little heart that was going like the clappers.

Tomorrow is our second scan. I cant wait to see the little guy/girl again.

Bring on January.


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Comments about This Article
Awwwww! I'm sure you'll make great parents. Just remember to hand it back to your wife / husband just before it projectile vomits. In parenthood, timing is everything.
Comment By: @johnneyred, 06 Sep 2010, Rating: 0/5
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