Jungle Nobodies - Being Here

Jungle Nobodies
Or, I'm not a celebrity get me out of here
12/11/08

You can't turn on your TV these days without being confronted by a "celebrity" something or other programme. I have no problem with the format of these shows, after all, programmes with a celebrity twist have been part of our viewing for a long time, from "This is your life" to "Through the keyhole".
The problem I have is that the word "celebrity" these days seems to have been attached with total and utter nobodies, instead of, "Oh look, it's that bloke who goes out with what's her name." We get, oh look, a new series of Celebrity Family Fortunes with the family of that bloke who USED to go out with what's her name against the family of that bloke who did that thing once in 1987, I cant wait to get a deeper insight into their lives.
When Big Brother launched in 2000 it was an interesting experiment into what people would do to win, the problem was, it really should have been left at that. Little did we know that while we were laughing at Nasty Nick, the lesbian nun and the weird bald girl trying to get on tele all the time, this was merely the tip of the iceberg.
Now, if you have been on Big Brother, you are a celebrity, which makes absolutely no sense, I mean, where does it end? Next, you will have people who have done nothing except going out with someone claiming to be a celebrity.
Which brings me to the announcement of the new series of the programme hilariously titled, "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here."
The line up this year includes, Simon Webbe (From Blue) obviously still reeling from his failed solo career, Mr Sulu from Star Trek, who very sadly has chosen to pose in his picture with the most stereotypical Star Trek pose you could ever imagine, Ex-tennis star Martina Navratilova, Robert Kilroy-Silk (ITV hoping for some racism or something here) Dani Behr (Remember her?) who is quoted as saying, "probably the fastest way" to make a comeback on British TV" Yea, never mind working hard, eat a kangaroo ball, that is the fast-track. Esther Rantzen has chosen to appear also, obviously a wise move for her, she says, "I have to face the worst - the result might be abject humiliation, the end of a career." She seems to think anyone would care if she did end her "Career." Ex-EastEnder Joe Swash will be appearing, well done, not even trying to release a mock-reggae song after leaving the show like Ricky did, going straight into the grub eating, well done sir. Now, while each one of the above mentioned can have a mild claim to fame, the next three are tenuous at best in my opinion. Brian Paddick, the Met Police's former deputy assistant commissioner, he says, "after dealing with serious stuff for so long, I want to start enjoying myself". Yes, by all means, have a holiday, relax, but don't claim to be a celebrity when you are the Met Police's former deputy assistant commissioner, that is like the ex-mayor of Stuttgart appearing. Next we have Model and fitness instructor Carly Zucker, who only seems to get the gig because she is going out with Chelsea and England footballer Joe Cole, which apparently, by association makes her famous. Finally we have Model Nicola McLean, who even ITV say is "probably" the least well known (Which is saying something) The only thing they could find to say about her is, "Fans of League One football club Peterborough United will know of her. She is engaged to their defender Tom Williams." Woah, roll out that red carpet guys, she goes out with someone who plays for Peterborugh United.
The world is going absolutely Tonto.

Comments about This Article

Fair point, but I have to add that I'd never heard of anyone on 'Through the Keyhole' either. Which was worse in a way, because you were supposed to guess who they were with almost no frame of reference. It would be just as bad now of course. Imagine Matthew from Eastenders, Anna from Big Brother and Carl Douglas trying to guess the identity of Tom Williams from Peterborough United's girlfriend based on stuff they found in her house. Comment By: Dermot, 12 Nov 2008, Rating: 5/5

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