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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Back to the Future Too
30/12/11

Untold Cooper
29/12/11

A British Defence Against America
08/12/11

Not So Marvellous
07/12/11
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11

Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11

The Apprenticed
18/07/11

In Praise of ITV
03/07/11

Sick
28/06/11

Know the Drill
03/06/11

Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Tooth Story
26/05/11

Game of PWNS
24/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
West is West
19/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11

The Bored Room
11/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Future Shock
09/05/11

The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11

Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Small Talk
18/01/11
Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
The Waiting Game
13/01/11
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
2011
05/01/11

2010
31/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Police Stop
30/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Z Cast
29/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10

A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A Good Society
10/09/10

The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Scanners 2
08/09/10

What mean Expendable?
07/09/10
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10
Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10
Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Pipe Up
23/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10

The Apple
27/03/10
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
1987
26/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10

Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Modern Slash
22/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Dead Happy
05/03/10
Average Rating: 3.3 out of 5
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10

Im Flugzeug
20/02/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Radio Times
17/02/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Intellectual Property
16/02/10

Happy Loveday
15/02/10

A Load of Pony
25/01/10

I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A National Treasure
15/01/10

Snow
13/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Friday The 13th
12/01/10
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Steaks are High
11/01/10
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
BBC Bashing
10/11/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09

No More Heroes
06/11/09
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09

Jellyneck
22/09/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09

Memory Lane
27/08/09
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Shitting Stars
26/08/09

The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Generation
14/08/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Home Alone
29/07/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Context
28/07/09
Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Time Waster
26/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09

He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
Day 2
23/07/09
Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A New Morning
22/07/09
Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
The Sadness
21/07/09

Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The New Blog
09/07/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Return
05/05/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Double Trouble
06/04/09

It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Not Good Enough
30/03/09
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Picture This
24/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Size Matters
22/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09
Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5
Not Ready
16/03/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Watched
10/03/09
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Wired
08/03/09

The Running Man
26/02/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09
Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5
Absent Friends
09/02/09
Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
Snow Wonder
02/02/09
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09
Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
20/01/09
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
Take Hart
18/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
What's In A Name?
17/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09

The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09

Demon Seed
03/01/09
Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
2008
30/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
What's Cooking?
29/12/08
Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
The Curse
19/12/08
Average Rating: 1.8 out of 5
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08

Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08

Feeling Blu
09/12/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
SHT
07/12/08

Gategate
02/12/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08
Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08
Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08

National Expression
20/11/08
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08
Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08
Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Cage Strain
11/11/08

A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08
Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08
Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08

Grumpy Old Deathwish
New age males

29/03/10
Clint Eastwood has always made me smile. Sometimes he has made me laugh.

The first instance of this was when I saw the trailer for \"Heartbreak Ridge\".

The sight of an elderly man, painted up in camouflage, grunting and talking in a gruff voice was always funny to me. Trouble is, "Heartbreak Ridge" isn't really a comedy. It's a drama based around the American invasion of Grenada. It is supposed to be serious, but it contains hilarious 80s pomp and OTT macho dialogue. Clint Eastwood literally chews the scenery as Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Highway.

He has some amazing lines. For example, "My name's Gunnery Sergeant Highway and I've drunk more beer, banged more quiff, pissed more blood and stomped more ass that all of you numbnuts put together". And , "Be advised. I'm mean, nasty and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I can put a round in a flea's ass at 200 meters. So why don't you go hump somebody else's leg, mutt face, before I push yours in".

I am sure that the majority of these lines is very much tongue in cheek, but that is the problem with the majority of 80s movies, the dialogue just dates so badly. Plus the fact that everyone that made a film in the 1980s was on something. Imagine making a film when you are off your face and then looking at it the next day. I think you will find it interesting, but not something that will hold up.

In the 1990s men became soft and started to express their feelings with cuddles and confess to enjoy chick flicks. Men in the 90s just didn't want their action hard. But men in the 80s gave us "Robocop", "Predator" and "Die Hard". Could you imagine Schwarzenegger being able to make Kindergarten Cop or Junior in the mid 80s?

I think the 1990s has really scuppered the majority of 1980s films in terms of tone. They just come across as ludicrous. Take the scene in "Commando" where Schwarzenegger says, "I eat Green Beret's for breakfast, and right now I am VERY hungry". Would you be able to say that in a film now? No way. Since the 90s, action films have replaced outrageous coke-fuelled machismo, with wise cracks.

If Commando were made today, he may have said, "You're a Green Beret? Well, I need a new hat" or "Green Beret huh? Well, I'm colour blind".

In fact, the majority of 80s action films that DO stand up, were way ahead of their time. "Beverly Hills Cop" for instance, action and comedy. Films like that are ten a penny now, but in 1984, they just weren't.

Men of today want action, but with a twist. Take the example of the recent film by WWE wrestler John Cena, "The Marine". This is exactly the kind of film in the 1980s that would have been a massive hit. A well known wrestler, handed some guns, a rubbish script and lots of fights. In 1985, this would have been big, but today, it barely made a dent. In fact, the year it came out (2006) the top action films were Mission Impossible III and X-Men III. In fact, "The Marine" was the at number 120 in the box office list of 2006.

People today will take action, but only with a gimmick.

I am not sure what Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Highway would make of new age men. He would probably say, "What the hell good are ya doin' back there? I'll get my ass shot off without any cover fire! While the rest of you are pumpin' the neighbour's dog, we'll get every swinging dick in this platoon killed!" or "Just because we're holding hands doesn't mean we'll be taking warm showers together until the wee hours of the morning."

Exactly the same with Wall Street by the way, if you watch it now, it is unintentionally hilarious. With the sequel on the way (Entitled - "Money Never Sleeps") we may get a very different sense of tone. It will be interesting to see what the 90s have done to Gordon Gekko.

Anyway, back to Clint Eastwood.

Last night I watched "Gran Torino".

The reason I mentioned Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Highway before, is that the character in this film reminded me of what Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Highway would be like in retirement.

The character Eastwood plays (Walt Kowalski) in this film is not a million miles away from Highway. He is gruff, he grunts, he was once a marine and he is short on patience. Walt is at war with the whole wide world.

The thing is, when you see the world through Walt's eyes, it is a miserable place. He has lost touch with his kids (Who obviously want him out of the way so they can loot and sell his house) and his grandkids don't respect him. At one point they look through his chest of Korean war medals and laugh, and try to claim his prize Gran Torino car and leather couch when he dies.

He is also the only person in his neighbourhood who isn't Hmong, which seems to cause him much annoyance.

He keeps himself to himself and has nothing to do with his Hmong neighbours. That is, until he inadvertently breaks up a Hmong gang picking on his young neighbour on his front lawn. The neighbourhood take him for a hero, but, he was just wanting them off of his lawn. Slowly, but surely, with much kicking and screaming, he opens up and gets to know his neighbours. Walt then begins to help the young boy who was seemingly rudderless in his life. Walt gives him confidence and direction in life, and even a decent job.

Walt then realises he has grown closer to strangers than he has to his own children.

I thought this was a beautiful and charming film with a lovely message. No one is beyond redemption and no one is beyond hope.

Eastwood announced that this would be his last acting role and that he would solely direct from now on. If this is the case, than this is the perfect sign off for such a legendary performer.

Claudia Winkleman has been confirmed as the new host of Film 2010 when Jonathan Ross shuffles off his film chair for the last time. I haven't enjoyed the Film programme for a long time, this is partly because of Jonathan Ross and partly because of the internet. If, like me, you have a daily visit to www.aintitcool.com or Latino Review, you don't really have much use in watching Film 2010. Any kind of film news is literally "hot off the press" with the internet and you wont have to wait a week to find out more. I also feel that Jonathan Ross has never really been right for the job.
His film knowledge is famously anchored in mondo and Japanese films and not mainstream. Which is funny as part of the reason Mark Kermode felt he wouldn't get the job is that his film tastes are far too left-field. They are only as left field as Ross's are and if anything, Kermode's knowledge and judgement are far better, in my opinion.

The main problem is, Barry Norman really made the part his own, he was miserable and cynical about the mechanics of the Hollywood machine. Ross, by contrast, seems excited as he watches the wheels go round. Perhaps it is a poisoned chalice, like following Tom Baker as Dr. Who.

But, with a bit of research, the perfect candidate could have been located.

I think the nearest to Barry Norman these days would have to be Mark Kermode. His film sections in the culture show, all be them brief, usually contain far more information and interest than a whole 30 minutes of Film 2010. Plus, he has that cynical edge and you would be hard pressed to find someone with a better technical film knowledge. He knows the in's, the out's and everything in between.

It is a shame the BBC have over looked him, but, he saw it coming. On the most recent podcast (I listened to it this morning) he was very sure that he is not in the reckoning.

Although, saying that, I have been reliably informed that Claudia Winkleman hosts Sky's film coverage and the Arts show on Radio 2, so will be probably be better than Ross. But I still wanted Kermode to get the job.

After all, when the next Walter Herzog film arrives (Bad Lieutenant:Port of New Orleans) Winkleman may have to interview him. Will she know to bring a bullet-proof vest?

Nothing against Claudia Winkleman, but she should only present programmes about what she knows, Winkles and Men (Joke, obviously)

Follow Ted (MrJohnRain) on Twitter

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