Go to Lego's Blog
Go to Dermot's Blog

Subscribe
Follow
What mean Expendable?
07/09/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10 Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Pipe Up
23/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
27/03/10 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
1987
26/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Modern Slash
22/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Dead Happy
05/03/10 Average Rating: 3.3 out of 5
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10
Im Flugzeug
20/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Radio Times
17/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Intellectual Property
16/02/10
Happy Loveday
15/02/10
Average + Retarded = Avatar
11/02/10 Average Rating: 3.5 out of 5
A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
13/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Friday The 13th
12/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Steaks are High
11/01/10 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
BBC Bashing
10/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09
No More Heroes
06/11/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
22/09/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09
Memory Lane
27/08/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Generation
14/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Home Alone
29/07/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Context
28/07/09 Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Time Waster
26/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
Day 2
23/07/09 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A New Morning
22/07/09 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The New Blog
09/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Return
05/05/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Double Trouble
06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Not Good Enough
30/03/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Picture This
24/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Size Matters
22/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09 Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5
Not Ready
16/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Watched
10/03/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Wired
08/03/09
The Running Man
26/02/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09 Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5
Absent Friends
09/02/09 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
Snow Wonder
02/02/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
20/01/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
Take Hart
18/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
What's In A Name?
17/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
03/01/09 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
2008
30/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
What's Cooking?
29/12/08 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
The Curse
19/12/08 Average Rating: 1.8 out of 5
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08
Feeling Blu
09/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
02/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08
National Expression
20/11/08 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08 Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
Blue Jam
18/01/10

Well, another weekend over with. Which is a shame. Can't say I did alot with it, besides feeling ill and then being partially cured by the new medically recognised marvel that is Holiday on the Buses.

I spent most of Sunday rehearsing for a corporate gig in Leicester on Tuesday evening. So, no work for me Tuesday or Wednesday. I will be conducting the briefest of tours. A whistle stop tour of one venue.
Are we ready? You bet. We will be rocking and rolling in equal measure.

It occurred to me last night that the older I get, the more I find I am comforted by childhood pleasures when I am ill. On The Buses aside, I have enjoyed many a load of old tat that I wouldn't usually give the time of day when I am well. Bearing in mind I have been sick for at least 3 weeks, that is a lot of shit to watch. But, it has been great.

I have also returned to audio comedy to soothe my aching body. Hancock's Half Hour has been a friend to me, as well as Chris Morris' Blue Jam. Whilst they could not be more different if they tried. But, I find them equally enjoyable.

I can't claim that I was there as it happened with Blue Jam. My friend Ruban was the man there, he was always telling me how good it was and he taped it every week. It was only about 6 years ago that I discovered it for myself, when I first moved to Brighton in 2004. It is just so out there and just so weird, but at times it is so funny. The performers make it what it is. Kevin Eldon, Amelia Bullmore, Julia Davies, Mark Heap and David Cann (Keen observers may notice that all bar one made up the cast of the first series of Big Train).

For those of you unfamiliar with the format, I will explain via Wikkipedia :

Format and style
Each episode opened (and closed) with a short spoken introduction (delivered by Morris) describing, in surreal, broken language, various bizarre feelings and situations, set to ambient music interspersed with short clips of other songs.



Common recurring sketches
Doctor (played by David Cann): "The Doctor" is a seemingly "normal" physician working in a standard British medical practice. However, he has a habit of treating his patients in bizarre and often disturbing ways, such as prescribing heroin for a cold, making a man with a headache jump up and down in order to make his penis swing (while mirroring the patient's bewildered jumping himself), blinding himself with an intense light in order to avoid awkward questions and insisting on examining a patient by telephone, even though he is in the same room.



The Monologue Man (played by Chris Morris): Morris's own short stories, often up to 10 minutes in length, were written from the perspective of a lonely and socially inept man. Invariably involving the man's acquaintance 'Susie', but in different capacities each time, Morris paints a picture of insanity with sober and reasonable clarity.
Michael Alexander St. John: A parody of hyperbolic and pun-laden radio presenting, St. John presents items such as the top 10 singles charts and the weekend's gigs.



Monged Sex: Short clips of two lovers making increasingly bizarre erotic requests of one another, such as "shitting your leg off" and "making your come green".
The Interviewer (played by Chris Morris): conducting real interviews with celebrities such as Andrew Morton and Jerry Springer, Morris confuses and mocks his subjects with ambiguous and odd questions.

Mr. Bentham (played by Mark Heap): An extremely awkward man who requires one-to-one consultations with what seems to be his psychologist for the most banal of matters.

Here is a great sketch about a man who wants to commit suicide in a zoo :

MARTINUE: Could I have one ticket, please?
SUZANNE: Eight pounds fifteen.
MARTINUE: Um, the sort that lets me into the cages, please.
SUZANNE: Sorry?
MARTINUE: The sort that lets me into the cages, please.
SUZANNE: There's no such thing.
MARTINUE: I've made an arrangement with the management.
SUZANNE: I haven't heard anything about it.
MARTINUE: They said I could do it for 450 pounds?
SUZANNE: Well, we don't do that.
MARTINUE: They should have left you a note.
SUZANNE: Well, they didn't leave me a note.
MARTINUE: Could you ask them, please?
SUZANNE: I suppose...
MARTINUE: Thank you.
SUZANNE: (dials) Hello, it's main entrance here. Yes, it's Suzanne.
FATHER: Excuse me? Are you going to be a long time?
MOTHER: Stop hogging the kiosk!
MARTINUE: I'm not hogging the kiosk.
MOTHER: Well you are, actually!
MARTINUE: I'm trying to buy a very important ticket.
MOTHER: We've all got important tickets to buy!
MARTINUE: Mine's a special one.
FATHER: Excuse me, can I get past this man, please?
MARTINUE: I have a right to buy my special ticket!
MANAGER: Um, hello sir, can I help?
MARTINUE: And who might you be?
MANAGER: I'm the customer manager; I gather you want a special ticket?
MARTINUE: That's right, I've arranged it with the seniors.
MANAGER: Do you remember a name?
MARTINUE: Er, no, I don't believe in names very much.
MANAGER: I see. And what... what was the arrangement?
MARTINUE: That I can pay a cash sum of 450 pounds and be allowed in any of the cages.
MANAGER: And may I ask why, Mr..?
MARTINUE: Martinue. In so much as I believe in names.
MANAGER: May I ask why, Mr Martinue?
MARTINUE: I want to lie down with a lion and not wake up again. Maybe prostrate myself in the rhino trench.
MOTHER: Jesus..!
SUZANNE: He's trying to get in the cages with the animals...
MANAGER: Well, I'm sorry, sir, I don't think that kind of arrangement is being made.
MARTINUE: I dressed especially for it!
MANAGER: I'm sorry, sir, I think it would be best if you leave.
MARTINUE: I'm not leaving.
MOTHER: Look, I've got my kids here!
FATHER: Yeah, we don't want the children to see you getting all...
MOTHER: It's disgusting!
MARTINUE: It's not disgusting.
MOTHER: It bloody is!
MARTINUE: Leave me alone.
MOTHER: Then don't you... keep upsetting everybody...
MARTINUE: Bloody... bloody people.
MANAGER: All right, sir, I think...
MOTHER: Just leave your sickness at home!
MARTINUE: It's not my sickness.
MOTHER: It bloody is.
MANAGER: Sir...
MARTINUE: It's your sickness.
MANAGER: All right, sir...
MARTINUE: You're the ones that make me want to do it.
FATHER: You need a doctor, mate.
MANAGER: I think you should leave now....
MARTINUE: I've got more money!
MANAGER: Come on, this way, sir... that's it...
MARTINUE: No, I-I'll give you eight thousand pounds!
MANAGER: What?
MARTINUE: Eight thousand pounds!
MANAGER: Eh?
MARTINUE: For you to let me go inside an animal place.
MANAGER: Can I see the money?
MARTINUE: Yes.
MANAGER: Er, in here, please... just come through...
MARTINUE: There it is. All notes. Bloody bastards.
MANAGER: Right. Well, I'll be on my lunch break in ten minutes. You can do what you want. There is a chance you may be rescued; I can't do anything about that, but if you want to, off you go.
MARTINUE: Thanks.
MANAGER: Don't thank me, mate.
MARTINUE: No, you're a bit of a... bloody bastard as well.
MANAGER: Go on.
MARTINUE: But I'm very happy with the way I'm going.
MANAGER: Please, out.
MARTINUE: ...The rhinos.
MANAGER: Outside.
MARTINUE: The rhinos or the lions.
MANAGER: ...What?
MARTINUE: The rhinos are winning today. They shall feel my jam between their toes. Mm.
MANAGER: Goodbye...
MOTHER: Weird sicko!
FATHER: Yeah.
MARTINUE: Bloody bastards.
MOTHER: Oh, just go home!
MARTINUE: Amateur

So, this is my tip for today, if you haven't already, seek out Blue Jam and revel in the surreal, yet hilarious world of Chris Morris and his brilliant cast.

The TV version -









Follow Ted (MrJohnRain) on Twitter
Comments about This Article
Yes, that is correct interested party.
Comment By: Ted, 21 Jan 2010, Rating: 5/5
Surely you got paid for the two days you took as holiday from work, in addition to getting paid for the corporate gig (including travel costs & accomodation, I might add..)?
It sounds very beneficial to me.
Comment By: Interested Party, 21 Jan 2010, Rating: 5/5
In a a word. Yes.
Comment By: Ted, 20 Jan 2010, Rating: 5/5
Was it financially beneficial to miss 2 days work for 1 corporate gig?
Comment By: Trevor Stanton, 20 Jan 2010, Rating: 5/5
Comment on This Article
 Your comment will be added automatically once you click on submit.
Your name:
Comment:
Overall Rating out of Five:
ZeroOneTwoThreeFourFive

HOBO-BONOBO.co.uk
Back to Index Page | What's New | Search | Links | Link to Us | Feedback | Contact Us | Site Map
The opinions expressed on Hobo-Bonobo.co.uk are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited.
The content of the site is intended to be humourous, and is not intended to offend anyone.