Go to Lego's Blog
Go to Dermot's Blog

Subscribe
Follow
The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10
Scanners 2
08/09/10
What mean Expendable?
07/09/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10 Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Pipe Up
23/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
27/03/10 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
1987
26/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Modern Slash
22/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Dead Happy
05/03/10 Average Rating: 3.3 out of 5
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10
Im Flugzeug
20/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Radio Times
17/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Intellectual Property
16/02/10
Happy Loveday
15/02/10
Average + Retarded = Avatar
11/02/10 Average Rating: 3.5 out of 5
A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
13/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Friday The 13th
12/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Steaks are High
11/01/10 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
BBC Bashing
10/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09
No More Heroes
06/11/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
22/09/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09
Memory Lane
27/08/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Generation
14/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Home Alone
29/07/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Context
28/07/09 Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Time Waster
26/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
Day 2
23/07/09 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A New Morning
22/07/09 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The New Blog
09/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Return
05/05/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Double Trouble
06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Not Good Enough
30/03/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Picture This
24/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Size Matters
22/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09 Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5
Not Ready
16/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Watched
10/03/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Wired
08/03/09
The Running Man
26/02/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09 Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5
Absent Friends
09/02/09 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
Snow Wonder
02/02/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
20/01/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
Take Hart
18/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
What's In A Name?
17/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
03/01/09 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
2008
30/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
What's Cooking?
29/12/08 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
The Curse
19/12/08 Average Rating: 1.8 out of 5
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08
Feeling Blu
09/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
02/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08
National Expression
20/11/08 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08 Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
'You Lecherous Moron'
Happy Holiday Magic
17/01/10
They say that you begin to hallucinate after any spell of deprivation.

It has been nearly 3 weeks since I could last smell, taste or hear in my right ear.

In that time I have enjoyed many Friday the 13th films and two of the three On The Buses motion pictures.

Last night I made it a hat-trick. I watched the third and final installment. Holiday on the Buses.

It was only a matter of time I suppose.

Now, you may say this is purely a coincidence. But when I woke up this morning, my sense of smell returned. A bit. Not only that, but my hearing was back in my right ear.

Now, you may say one has nothing to do with the other, but I believe the spirits of Jack, Stan, Blakey, Olive, Arthur and Little Arthur have seen me through. Through their comedic sacrifice, I am well again.

Tell me one sick person who could watch the below clips and NOT want to be better again.

If you have not seen Holiday on the Buses, the plot is simple. Stan and Jack are fired (Along with Blakey) from the bus company for gawping at a woman's tits and driving their bus into another bus, causing it to smoke from the top windows, for some reason.



Therefore, they take a job at a holiday camp. You'll never guess what happens next, Blakey is only working there as well! Oh no!!

So, Stan and Jack decide to try and gawp and pull women that are at least 30 years younger than them. I can only assume that this is less of a holiday camp and more of a lunatic asylum for women of low self esteem.

The one thing I really noticed about this film (And the others)is that no one has any free will. For instance, at one point Blakey is relaxing in a deck chair, when Little Arthur ties a donkey to the back. He then fires a cap-gun which causes the donkey to gallop away. I say gallop, it is barely a trot. This means that Blakey is now flailing his arms and screaming for his life whilst being dragged along the grass on a very slow moving flat deck chair by a very bored looking donkey. Now, I dont know about you, but if my deck chair collapsed and a donkey dragged me along at two miles per hour. I would probably just stand up and get off. But, I have free will. See 5 mins and 44 seconds into this clip. I can't imagine they were happy with how it looked when they filmed it. Not exactly a runaway train of a donkey.



At another point a man is looking at his car engine under the bonnet, when the bonnet collapses on top of him. Rather than immediately jumping up and standing back. The man screams for his life and flails his legs to the outside world. As you can see (0.57), I am pretty sure this will not save him.



The other obvious example of the lack of free will, is all the women that agree to go to bed with Stan or Jack. In this world, Stan and Jack just ask a woman if they want to go for a drink or if they fancy some sex and they immediately just say yes. Like they are programmed or insane.

Any normal woman would just look at them and immediately imagine the sight of Jack bearing down on them in a dark room. Their minds would conjure the smell of cigarettes and brown ale coming out of his mouth as he runs his tongue out and burps sweet nothings into their young faces.

But these women, seem to like it.

The men also seem to be automaton's. At one point Olive is in a tiny bathing suit. She is pushed into the water, she reveals that her bottom half has come off and about 15 men jump in. Is this a holiday camp or a prison? Have they not seen a woman in a long time? What were they going to do when they go to her?



Blakey is, as ever, tortured and bullied by our pair of rogue drivers. It is hard not to feel sorry for him in this film. He finally finds love and Jack begins banging her behind his back. I can only imagine that the next film would have ended with Blakey coming to the bus depot with a rifle and killing Jack and Stan, then turning the gun on himself.
By the way, for unadulterated Blakey magic, watch this clip and really pay particular attention to 4 mins and 26 seconds until 4 mins and 40 seconds. 14 seconds of utter genius.



Anyway, there you go. It's official. Holiday on the Buses makes you better. Pass it on.

I like this song.



Oh, and if you haven't watched this yet, WATCH IT. This is part 1 of 7 Phantom Menace reviews, please, they are 70 minutes, but, indulge me.


Also, in case you are interested, The Kids In The Hall are back with a new TV series. It is very much like League of Gentlemen, being based around the happenings of a small town. But it has potential, the first episode didn't exactly blow me away, but I think/hope it will get better.



Follow Ted (MrJohnRain) on Twitter
Comments about This Article
This holiday on the busses film. When will it be out at the cinema ?
Comment By: Arthur Bostrom, 18 Jan 2010, Rating: 5/5
Comment on This Article
 Your comment will be added automatically once you click on submit.
Your name:
Comment:
Overall Rating out of Five:
ZeroOneTwoThreeFourFive

HOBO-BONOBO.co.uk
Back to Index Page | What's New | Search | Links | Link to Us | Feedback | Contact Us | Site Map
The opinions expressed on Hobo-Bonobo.co.uk are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited.
The content of the site is intended to be humourous, and is not intended to offend anyone.