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The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10
Scanners 2
08/09/10
What mean Expendable?
07/09/10
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10
Adventures in driving
07/07/10
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10
Pipe Up
23/04/10
More Bard News
21/04/10
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
27/03/10
1987
26/03/10
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10
Modern Slash
22/03/10
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10
Dead Happy
05/03/10
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10
Im Flugzeug
20/02/10
Radio Times
17/02/10
Intellectual Property
16/02/10
Happy Loveday
15/02/10
Average + Retarded = Avatar
11/02/10
A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10
A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
13/01/10
Friday The 13th
12/01/10
Steaks are High
11/01/10
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09
BBC Bashing
10/11/09
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09
No More Heroes
06/11/09
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
22/09/09
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09
Memory Lane
27/08/09
Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09
My Generation
14/08/09
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09
Home Alone
29/07/09
Context
28/07/09
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09
Time Waster
26/07/09
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09
Day 2
23/07/09
A New Morning
22/07/09
The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09
The New Blog
09/07/09
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09
The Return
05/05/09
Double Trouble
06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09
Not Good Enough
30/03/09
Picture This
24/03/09
Size Matters
22/03/09
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09
Not Ready
16/03/09
Watched
10/03/09
Wired
08/03/09
The Running Man
26/02/09
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09
Absent Friends
09/02/09
Snow Wonder
02/02/09
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09
You Be The Judge
20/01/09
Take Hart
18/01/09
What's In A Name?
17/01/09
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
03/01/09
2008
30/12/08
What's Cooking?
29/12/08
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08
The Curse
19/12/08
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08
Feeling Blu
09/12/08
SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
02/12/08
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08
For What It's Worth
27/11/08
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08
National Expression
20/11/08
A View To A Job
18/11/08
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08
The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08
I am Legend
04/11/08
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
09/09/10
Scanners 2
08/09/10
What mean Expendable?
07/09/10
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10
Adventures in driving
07/07/10
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10
Pipe Up
23/04/10
More Bard News
21/04/10
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
27/03/10
1987
26/03/10
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10
Modern Slash
22/03/10
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10
Dead Happy
05/03/10
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10
Im Flugzeug
20/02/10
Radio Times
17/02/10
Intellectual Property
16/02/10
Happy Loveday
15/02/10
Average + Retarded = Avatar
11/02/10
A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10
A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
13/01/10
Friday The 13th
12/01/10
Steaks are High
11/01/10
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09
BBC Bashing
10/11/09
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09
No More Heroes
06/11/09
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
22/09/09
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09
Memory Lane
27/08/09
Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09
My Generation
14/08/09
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09
Home Alone
29/07/09
Context
28/07/09
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09
Time Waster
26/07/09
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09
Day 2
23/07/09
A New Morning
22/07/09
The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09
The New Blog
09/07/09
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09
The Return
05/05/09
Double Trouble
06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09
Not Good Enough
30/03/09
Picture This
24/03/09
Size Matters
22/03/09
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09
Not Ready
16/03/09
Watched
10/03/09
Wired
08/03/09
The Running Man
26/02/09
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09
Absent Friends
09/02/09
Snow Wonder
02/02/09
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09
You Be The Judge
20/01/09
Take Hart
18/01/09
What's In A Name?
17/01/09
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
03/01/09
2008
30/12/08
What's Cooking?
29/12/08
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08
The Curse
19/12/08
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08
Feeling Blu
09/12/08
SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
02/12/08
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08
For What It's Worth
27/11/08
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08
National Expression
20/11/08
A View To A Job
18/11/08
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08
The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08
I am Legend
04/11/08
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
| Snow Bored 13/01/10 |  | ||||||||||||||||
| Int. House.Day
The doorbell rings. JOYCE opens the door and BRIAN is standing there. BRIAN Joyce…Joyce I’m sorry JOYCE (Upset) What? What is it? BRIAN It’s Tim, he, he wont be coming home JOYCE (Upset) What happened? BRIAN He was found washed up this morning; they think his bungee cord may have snapped on his way down the waterfall. JOYCE (Crying) Oh Brian, why? All because the lady loved Milk Tray… BRIAN It would seem so. I must say when we offered him the job of Milk Tray deliveryman; we had no idea that Tim would attack it with such vigour. A simple knock on the door and handing over the box would have sufficed JOYCE But he was always such a perfectionist… BRIAN Yes, though ultimately, I think he perhaps watched just one Bond film too many JOYCE He did like them, especially Moonraker… BRIAN (Confused) Really? JOYCE I don’t know how Alan will take it…what can I tell him? He has had it hardest over the past few years, now he has lost a father too… BRIAN I can speak with him if you like? Tim was my best friend JOYCE Yes, perhaps that will be best; I will go and get him. JOYCE exits and returns with ALAN who is the Milky Bar Kid BRIAN Alan, I have some very bad news… Well, it happened again. Jack Frost aimed his giant winkie at Britain and used these once green and pleasant lands as his own sordid biscuit. Yes, we are again being snowed on. It is getting a bit boring now isn't it? I am getting a bit fed up of walking on an ice rink and my trains always being late. Add to that the people at my work who seem to use it as an excuse to not show up. Also, loads of happy kids pissing around in the park that I can see from my window at work. Sods. Why should they be happy? The media seem to always dress up these events as some sort of "Day after tomorrow" type catastrophe. It clearly isn't. I think the problem is that the media cant blame it on Global Warming. They cant have a reporter stood in the north pole talking about melting ice caps, as they so like doing. No, it's January and it's supposed to do this. So, instead they rattle on about the problems people are having getting to places. They even stopped and interviewed people in their cars who were having some mild trouble getting up a hill. Is this really news worthy? Where are the light hearted stories like the Polish cleaner getting caught having it off with a hoover? Come on news, up your game. Follow Ted (MrJohnRain) on Twitter
| |||||||||||||||||
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