Go to Lego's Blog
Go to Dermot's Blog

Subscribe
Follow
Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Back to the Future Too
30/12/11
Untold Cooper
29/12/11
A British Defence Against America
08/12/11
Not So Marvellous
07/12/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11
Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11
The Apprenticed
18/07/11
In Praise of ITV
03/07/11
Sick
28/06/11
Know the Drill
03/06/11
Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Tooth Story
26/05/11
Game of PWNS
24/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
West is West
19/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Crime Crime Crime
17/05/11
The Bored Room
11/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Future Shock
09/05/11
The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Life Atwatic
24/04/11
Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Small Talk
18/01/11 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
The Waiting Game
13/01/11 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
2011
05/01/11
2010
31/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Police Stop
30/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Z Cast
29/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10
A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A Good Society
10/09/10
The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Scanners 2
08/09/10
What mean Expendable?
07/09/10 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10 Average Rating: 0 out of 5
Warning : Speculation
12/07/10 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Adventures in driving
07/07/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Pipe Up
23/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
More Bard News
21/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Volcanoes and Elections
20/04/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10
The Apple
27/03/10 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
1987
26/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10
Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Modern Slash
22/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Dead Happy
05/03/10 Average Rating: 3.3 out of 5
Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Sunday Zoo
01/03/10
Im Flugzeug
20/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Radio Times
17/02/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Intellectual Property
16/02/10
Happy Loveday
15/02/10
A Load of Pony
25/01/10
I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A National Treasure
15/01/10
Snow
13/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Friday The 13th
12/01/10 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Steaks are High
11/01/10 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
BBC Bashing
10/11/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09
No More Heroes
06/11/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09
Jellyneck
22/09/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09
Memory Lane
27/08/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Shitting Stars
26/08/09
The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Generation
14/08/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
Home Alone
29/07/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Context
28/07/09 Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
Summer is a bummer
27/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Time Waster
26/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09
He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
Day 2
23/07/09 Average Rating: 4.3 out of 5
A New Morning
22/07/09 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
The Sadness
21/07/09
Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The New Blog
09/07/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Baby, You're A Ritchie Man
21/05/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Return
05/05/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Double Trouble
06/04/09
It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Not Good Enough
30/03/09 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Picture This
24/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Size Matters
22/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I Am Modern Man
18/03/09 Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5
Not Ready
16/03/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Watched
10/03/09 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Wired
08/03/09
The Running Man
26/02/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09 Average Rating: 4.7 out of 5
Absent Friends
09/02/09 Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
Snow Wonder
02/02/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09 Average Rating: 4.2 out of 5
You Be The Judge
20/01/09 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
Take Hart
18/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
What's In A Name?
17/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09
The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09
Demon Seed
03/01/09 Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
2008
30/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
What's Cooking?
29/12/08 Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
A Feel Good Story
21/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
The Curse
19/12/08 Average Rating: 1.8 out of 5
He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08
Sneaky Christmas
10/12/08
Feeling Blu
09/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
SHT
07/12/08
Gategate
02/12/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Comedy of Errors
30/11/08 Average Rating: 3.7 out of 5
For What It's Worth
27/11/08 Average Rating: 2 out of 5
Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08
National Expression
20/11/08 Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A View To A Job
18/11/08 Average Rating: 1 out of 5
Last Bus Gone
17/11/08 Average Rating: 4.1 out of 5
Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
The Cage Strain
11/11/08
A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
I am Legend
04/11/08 Average Rating: 4 out of 5
Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08 Average Rating: 5 out of 5
My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08
BBC Bashing
No Laughing Matter
10/11/09
Have you seen Robocop 2?

Do you remember the bit in which Robocop's prime directives are reprogrammed by some sort of "right-on" committee?

If you don't, the story is thus, Robocop is broken up into bits by the bad guy and his mob of naughty men. OCP (the manufacturer) refuse to rebuild him as it is too expensive.

Eventually they give in to public pressure and rebuild him, but, they intend to make him more attuned to the "issues" of the day and more of a mechanised woolly liberal. They decide that he is too heavy handed and, whilst he gets results, he doesn't care for the environment, offer advice to kids or talk things over before shooting people.

When Robocop awakes after being rebuilt, his new directives are over 300, rather than the 4 he had previously (serve the public trust, protect the innocent, uphold the law, classified)
Some of them are :

DIRECTIVE 233 Restrain hostile feelings
DIRECTIVE 234 Promote positive attitude
DIRECTIVE 235 Suppress aggressiveness
DIRECTIVE 236 Promote pro-social values
DIRECTIVE 238 Avoid destructive behaviour
DIRECTIVE 239 Be accessible
DIRECTIVE 240 Participate in group activities
DIRECTIVE 241 Avoid interpersonal conflicts
DIRECTIVE 242 Avoid premature value judgments
DIRECTIVE 243 Pool opinions before expressing yourself
DIRECTIVE 244 Discourage feelings of negativity and hostility
DIRECTIVE 245 If you haven't got anything nice to say don't talk
DIRECTIVE 246 Don't rush traffic lights
DIRECTIVE 247 Don't run through puddles and splash pedestrians or other cars
DIRECTIVE 248 Don't say that you are always prompt when you are not
DIRECTIVE 249 Don't be oversensitive to the hostility and negativity of others
DIRECTIVE 250 Don't walk across a ballroom floor swinging your arms
DIRECTIVE 254 Encourage awareness
DIRECTIVE 256 Discourage harsh language
DIRECTIVE 258 Commend sincere efforts
DIRECTIVE 261 Talk things out
DIRECTIVE 262 Avoid Orion meetings
DIRECTIVE 266 Smile
DIRECTIVE 267 Keep an open mind
DIRECTIVE 268 Encourage participation
DIRECTIVE 273 Avoid stereotyping
DIRECTIVE 278 Seek non-violent solutions

At this point, you may be asking yourself, "what has this got to do with anything? Why are you going on about a fairly poor and dumb sequel that was pretty kack?"

Well, this is all part of a clever point I am making. This is like when you call the assembled suspects into the drawing room for the final "who done it." It is also quite like the...

"GET ON WITH IT!"

...Ok. Calm down.

The point is, if you replace Robocop, the metal policeman, with the BBC, we are in danger of this happening again.

Welcome to a world of BBC bashing. It is becoming a new blood sport in the press.

The written press do not like the BBC, and will try and use any means at their disposal to kick them in the balls. Whilst it could be said that certain BBC employees have been making this task a bit easier lately
(Ross, Brand, Boyle) it doesn't mean that the hunters have eased off the peddle in their attempt to run a JCB through White City and burn it to the ground.

Thanks to the written press and these few tools, the most important part of the BBC, the part in which we all owe a huge debt, is being effectively castrated. BBC Comedy.

Recent guidelines have been put into place which means that all comedy on the BBC will have to be strictly monitored and checked. One of the new guidelines that caught the eye was that there will be no more instances of "humiliation" which is what most good comedy is built on, whether it be aimed at others or self humiliation. In this new BBC age, this would mean no Fawlty Towers, no Alan Partridge, no Office. The list could go on and on.

I am quite sure that had the press not behaved like a nuisance neighbour who picks up on every little thing you do and reports you to the council, then the whole "Sachsgate" affair would have been just a blip on an otherwise exemplary record. Sadly, the press haven't let us forget it and have magnified every little thing ever since.

The once proud institution that produced Python, The Goons, Q, The Young Ones, The League of Gentlemen and ITMA may never be able to do it again and I, for one, will mourn its passing.

Follow Ted (MrJohnRain) on Twitter
Comments about This Article
If you want to choose what itv quiz show theme to clap along to, then give us a call on 087£58$7654. Calls cost £1 a minute and all proceedes will go to the Ant and Deck itv brainwashing unit.
Comment By: Ant and Deck, 15 Nov 2009, Rating: 5/5
British Broadcasting Communism...as long as we have ITV we will be fine...I tell you what, those Ant & Dec characters are bloody funny...now leave me alone to read my Daily Mail
Comment By: Boris Johnson, 10 Nov 2009, Rating: 5/5
Comment on This Article
 Your comment will be added automatically once you click on submit.
Your name:
Comment:
Overall Rating out of Five:
ZeroOneTwoThreeFourFive

HOBO-BONOBO.co.uk
Back to Index Page | What's New | Search | Links | Link to Us | Feedback | Contact Us | Site Map
The opinions expressed on Hobo-Bonobo.co.uk are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited.
The content of the site is intended to be humourous, and is not intended to offend anyone.