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Someone Else Holding the Baby Blues
11/01/12
Average Rating: 3 out of 5
Back to the Future Too
30/12/11

Untold Cooper
29/12/11

A British Defence Against America
08/12/11

Not So Marvellous
07/12/11
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We need to talk about Gervais
19/10/11
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A Quarter Life Crisis
06/10/11
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Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
05/10/11
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An open letter to George Lucas.
01/09/11

Burn Hollywood Burn
19/07/11

The Apprenticed
18/07/11

In Praise of ITV
03/07/11

Sick
28/06/11

Know the Drill
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Modern Cinemas are Rubbish
02/06/11
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My Tooth Story
26/05/11

Game of PWNS
24/05/11
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West is West
19/05/11
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17/05/11

The Bored Room
11/05/11
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The Future Shock
09/05/11

The Worm That Eats Itself
06/05/11
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24/04/11

Driving Like A Dick
17/04/11
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A Penny For My Thoughts
27/03/11
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The Needle and the Damage Done
23/03/11
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The Meaning of Life Part 1 : Birth
16/03/11
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10 O Clock Dive
21/01/11
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Falling off of the Witches Hat
19/01/11
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Small Talk
18/01/11
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The Waiting Game
13/01/11
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2011
05/01/11

2010
31/12/10
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Police Stop
30/12/10
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Z Cast
29/12/10
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The Crazy Adventures of Bastian and Atreyu
09/12/10

A note to my son or daughter.
08/12/10
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Baby I can drive your car
22/10/10
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A Good Society
10/09/10

The National Sport of Rubbernecking
09/09/10
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Scanners 2
08/09/10

What mean Expendable?
07/09/10
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Adventures in Babyhaving
06/09/10
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Warning : Speculation
12/07/10
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Adventures in driving
07/07/10
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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
05/07/10
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Pipe Up
23/04/10
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More Bard News
21/04/10
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20/04/10
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Grumpy Old Deathwish
29/03/10

The Apple
27/03/10
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1987
26/03/10
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The Long Bad Wednesday
25/03/10

Art for Art's Sake
23/03/10
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Modern Slash
22/03/10
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A Little Bit 'Special'
16/03/10
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Dead Happy
05/03/10
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Video Killed The Radio Stars
03/03/10
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Im Flugzeug
20/02/10
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Radio Times
17/02/10
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16/02/10

Happy Loveday
15/02/10

A Load of Pony
25/01/10

I Want To Lie Down With A Lion
18/01/10
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'You Lecherous Moron'
17/01/10
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A National Treasure
15/01/10

Snow
13/01/10
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Friday The 13th
12/01/10
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Steaks are High
11/01/10
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Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
16/11/09
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BBC Bashing
10/11/09
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Kenny Effing Powers!
09/11/09

No More Heroes
06/11/09
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What I Did In My Holidays
04/11/09

Jellyneck
22/09/09
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Can Buy Me Love
10/09/09

Memory Lane
27/08/09
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Shitting Stars
26/08/09

The Life and Death of My Pop Star Life
25/08/09
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Are You Being Offended?
24/08/09
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My Generation
14/08/09
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Home Alone 2 : Lost In 1939-1945
12/08/09
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Home Alone
29/07/09
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Context
28/07/09
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Summer is a bummer
27/07/09
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Time Waster
26/07/09
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Yes, but how did it Happen??
25/07/09

He Must Have Some Agent
24/07/09
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Day 2
23/07/09
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22/07/09
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The Sadness
21/07/09

Who Punishes The Punisher?
17/07/09
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The New Blog
09/07/09
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21/05/09
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An Englishman's Home Is His Castle
20/05/09
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The Return
05/05/09
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Double Trouble
06/04/09

It's The End Of The World As I Know It
05/04/09
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Not Good Enough
30/03/09
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Picture This
24/03/09
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Size Matters
22/03/09
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The Death of Mother Tongue
19/03/09
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I Am Modern Man
18/03/09
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Not Ready
16/03/09
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Watched
10/03/09
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Wired
08/03/09

The Running Man
26/02/09
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Run, Fatboy, Run
25/02/09
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Absent Friends
09/02/09
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Snow Wonder
02/02/09
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A New Breed of Hero
21/01/09
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You Be The Judge
20/01/09
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Take Hart
18/01/09
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What's In A Name?
17/01/09
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Don't Remake Me Over
16/01/09
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Random Fluctuations In The Space Time Continuum!
08/01/09
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The Future Is Already Written
07/01/09

The Shortest Story Ever Told
06/01/09

Demon Seed
03/01/09
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2008
30/12/08
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What's Cooking?
29/12/08
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A Feel Good Story
21/12/08
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19/12/08
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He's Not The Messiah!
15/12/08
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Who throws a shoe?
14/12/08

Sneaky Christmas
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Feeling Blu
09/12/08
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SHT
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Gategate
02/12/08
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Comedy of Errors
30/11/08
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For What It's Worth
27/11/08
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Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters
23/11/08

National Expression
20/11/08
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18/11/08
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Last Bus Gone
17/11/08
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Jungle Nobodies
12/11/08
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The Cage Strain
11/11/08

A Common Practice In Poland
07/11/08
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Close Encounters of the West Country Kind
06/11/08
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David Brent Would Vote For Barack Obama
05/11/08
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I am Legend
04/11/08
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Setting The President In The Art World
03/11/08
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My Word Is My Bond
02/11/08

What I Did In My Holidays
The Moral Maze

04/11/09
I know. I know.

Again, I was lazy and have neglected the blog for a record time.

I have actually been busy this time.

I went on holiday to Rhodes. Which was amazing. Myself, my wife, her family and extended family from America hired two villas, next door to each other and on top of a hill.

We arrived late on the Saturday night and drove through the island in our hired car to our villa. It was about 9pm local time and we were all eager to find a shop that sold beer. The first one that we managed to locate that was open, was a Russian shop. They had a very healthy stock of beer, including what we later knew fondly as the "Will Ferrell" beer. It received this name due to the fact that the cover mascot of the beer was a bearded red-haired man who closely resembles Will Ferrell at the end of the film "Step Brothers" in his lumberjack guise. I was keen on this holiday to ensure that I used the pool every day and had a paddle the minute we got there. We stayed up most of the night drinking. Which would become a theme of the week. My brother in law brought his guitar and melodica, so there was a lot of drunken busking. The beauty of course of being in the middle of nowhere, was that you could make as much noise as you liked and no one could hear you. Which, as I write it, sounds creepy.

The first big expedition we undertook was a tour of the local beaches (and I don't mean am dram versions of the Bette Midler film). The views were amazing. The sea was a very clear bright blue and you could see each thing in it, swimming about and looking happy, like some sort of Disney hallucination. This is where I am a stick in the mud. I don't like going in the sea. I have a weird complex about things in the sea. Ever since I was a kid and I accidentally touched a crab in the sea at Clacton.

The next day we made our merry way to an old ruined Settlement. This was really amazing. It had been there since (not researched) ages and had all sorts of basic forms of baths, cisterns, places of worship and at one point, we even came across an ancient coke can. It was really breathtaking to imagine this dead shell of a town to have once been a bustling village full of life. We then went on to Old Rhodes, a fully walled medieval city built during the Crusades. This place was amazing, I even bought an ancient Cornetto in one of the ancient shops. I was very impressed that Cornettos have been around that long.

The remainder of the week was spent swimming, drinking and busking until 5am. It was a really amazing holiday.

When I returned from holiday I was back to work and back to reality.

Last Thursday I went to Brighton university to a screening of the film "Beyond Biba". Which is a documentary (www.beyondbibamovie.com)of the life and work of Barbara Hulanicki. My friend Tom asked me many months ago to do some background music for it. It was great to see the fruits of my labour up on the big screen at last. The only issue I had with it was that the credits stopped rolling just as it reached the music, so I didn't get to see my name in black and white. It is out on DVD on December 7th and I will be sure to fetch a copy and watch my bits over and again. If you are interested in which bits I did, they are, Barbara discussing her father's death and most of the Miami "danger" sequence. Very exciting stuff. Here's hoping I get more work from it!

I bought Uncharted 2 last week. This is the best game I have played in a long time. You should seek and play.

Sorry for the lack of activity. But it does feel like I have been busy. Even though as I write this, I don't think I have.

I am officially a curmudgeon by the way. I was walking home, minding my own business, when a few kids approached me. I was mildly concerned, what with it being dark and all that. But, to my relief, they were smaller and I could have beaten them up. So I was happy.

Suddenly, a microphone was shoved in my face, "What do you think about Hove rec?" (Hove rec is a park in Hove)The smallest one said. When I looked at the mic I could see that it was a Singstar Mic from a PlayStation game. So, it was a pretend interview was it? Right. Well, I was in my element. When I was a kid, I was king of the pretend interviews. I had my own pretend mic, except in those days I had to just mime, no Singstar back then.

I thought for a moment. Should I let fly with bile? You know, the bile that is stored in my being on a daily basis? The anger I feel for most of the wankers I share my oxygen with? Yes, was my conclusion. But, even then, in that split second, a voice rattled in my brain, "You are 32 and a half years old, probably older than all of these kids combined, you must play along, after all, when you have kids one day, what will you do then?".

So, I compromised, "Erm...Twats." I said, looking at all of them. They seemed to think it was quite funny (And big and clever) and trundled away laughing.

I think if I was a kid, I would have thought that was very funny. As they ran off, the voice started again, "What if these kids had never heard that word before? Now you have started them on a life of crime. Well done. They are all Borstal bound, thanks to your pathetic attempt to seem with it to small kids." I couldn't help but agree too.

Is there anything more tragic than a 32 and a half year old man attempting to appear "with it" by swearing needlessly? I mean, I could have just as easily have said, "Well yes, Hove rec, it's a park isn't it." And I am sure they would have thought me cooler and more awesome. Then, that voice started again, "What if this was a elaborate sting operation by the police to catch pedophiles?"

Made me wish I had worn a pair of trousers and not stockings and suspenders. (Joke)

Oh, what a moral maze we live in.

Follow Ted (MrJohnRain) on Twitter

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