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A LOOK INTO INDEX A Look Into being a crackpot with Klaus Kinski  A Look Into Going To The Toilet Outdoors with Bear Grylls   A Look Into The Seedy World of Underground Sports with Trevor McDonald  A Look Into Saving The Fish with Ted Danson  A Look Into Area 51 with Larry Hagman  A Look Into Cross-Dressing with Eddie Izzard  A Look Into pathalogical lying with Steven Seagal  A Look Into Cooking with Richard Griffiths  A Look Into getting kicked in the bollocks with Michel Lonsdale  A Look Into Shooting Monkeys with Kelsey Grammer  A Look Into Murder with Professor Heinz Wolf  A Look Into Time Travel with Terry Thomas  A Look Into Perverts with Richard Littlejohn A Look Into why I manipulated the course of history so Dangermouse could exist with Peter Wyngarde  A Look Into Robots with Peter Stringfellow More...

A Look Into pathalogical lying with Steven Seagal Hey, I'm Steven Seagal, Dr. Seagal if you like or professor or Sir Seagal after my recent knighthood. Either way I'm taller than you and that makes me feel good because my hair looks like a lavatory brush. You may be thinking how a man who started life as Lee Majors' stunt double in the Fall Guy got so far so fast. We'll I'll tell you how; lie, lie and lie some more. In fact never stop telling porkies, ever. And that's why I'm prime minister and your not. Recently I was the first man on Mars. When I got there they asked me to be their king but I turned them down for I am only a simple Buddhist ninja and dialogue coach to Pauley Shore. However they insisted and renamed their planet Stevesworld like that film Westworld which I also wrote, directed and starred in with Richard Benjamin. Further more you should be thanking me for helping God with a few suggestions like poseable thumbs and eyes because without them we'd not be able to turn the telly on to channel 5 for my next straight to tv release. Anyway God fell out with me when I discovered the dinosaurs which contradicted how he thought you humans turned up on Earth. He's just a chancer; he was way out and he knows it. In fact whilst in Poland filming my latest blockbuster as an ex cia assassin some local peasant villagers brought a small child to me with a terrible illness; I think it was the mumps. Needless to say knowing the secrets of the universe I cured the boy and soon all of Poland knew me as Saint Steven, patron saint of the universe. I'd like to see Gary Busey do better than that. Never forget; I am better than you but if you do forget I'll come round yours and bitch slap you silly. Yours truly Saint Sir Steve. Md. hons. Ba. + everything else. . Comments about This Article Well, I married him. Take it from me, he is a prize-winning bell-end. Though, to give him his due, he was good in Moonstruck, but that duet he did with Sonny Bono was gash. Comment By: Kelly Le Brock, 22 Sep 2008, Rating: 5/5 Your both welcome to co-star in Under Seige 3. I must stress; co- star. Don't forget who's the boss, it's not Tony Danza, it's me. That's right; me ! Comment By: Sir Steve Seagal, 19 Sep 2008, Rating: 5/5 He promised me lots of acting roles in return for a fumble of my heaving breasts, but once I had let him juggle with my knockers he never returned my calls.. Comment By: Erika Eleniak, 19 Sep 2008, Rating: 4/5 I invented the pony tail, so screw you Seagal. Next time you try and push me to one side and then slap me, I will kick you in your nuts. Comment By: Gary Busey, 19 Sep 2008, Rating: 5/5 Comment on This Article Your comment will be added automatically once you click on submit. Your name: Comment: Overall Rating out of Five: ZeroOneTwoThreeFourFive Back to Index Page | What's New | Search | Links | Link to Us | Feedback | Contact Us | Site Map The opinions expressed on Hobo-Bonobo.co.uk are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited. The content of the site is intended to be humourous, and is not intended to offend anyone.