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A LOOK INTO INDEX
A Look Into Cosmology, Quantum Birectol Displacement, and other ramblings with Sir Donald Sinden   Average Rating: 2.4 out of 5
A Look Into The Rolling Stones with Windsor Davies  Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
A Look Into Why I Need to Use Wet Look Gel with Ian McShane  Average Rating: 2.3 out of 5
A Look Into The Mysteries of the Universe with Martin P. Daniels  Average Rating: 2.8 out of 5
A Look Into my reaction to the end of long running science fiction shows with lego indiana jones  Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5
A Look Into being a crackpot with Klaus Kinski  Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Look Into Going To The Toilet Outdoors with Bear Grylls   Average Rating: 2.5 out of 5
A Look Into The Seedy World of Underground Sports with Trevor McDonald  Average Rating: 2.4 out of 5
A Look Into Saving The Fish with Ted Danson  Average Rating: 3.1 out of 5
A Look Into Area 51 with Larry Hagman  Average Rating: 2.2 out of 5
A Look Into Cross-Dressing with Eddie Izzard  Average Rating: 2.5 out of 5
A Look Into pathalogical lying with Steven Seagal  Average Rating: 2.5 out of 5
A Look Into Cooking with Richard Griffiths  Average Rating: 3 out of 5
A Look Into getting kicked in the bollocks with Michel Lonsdale  Average Rating: 2.7 out of 5
A Look Into Shooting Monkeys with Kelsey Grammer  Average Rating: 3 out of 5
More...
A Look Into Spontaneous Human Combustion with Arthur C. Clarke
In 1982, the statistics on SHC were staggering, 1 in 5 people were likely to Spontaneously Combust before 1983. Truth be told, you were more likely to spontaneously combust than be on Television (not researched, just guessed). Imagine that? (Can you?)
The figures were so amazing that when they were presented to Tensil Mumms, president of The American Association of Well and Cave Devils; he exploded, leaving his wife and three kids to tidy up hits limbs. I myself once spilt some Ribena on my wifes best frock, but dont tell her.

The truth is, Combustion is very real, youve probably all seen the harrowing pictures of ashes, then an old lady's leg poking out of a sofa and stuff, like in that film, terrifying. By 1985 research had uncovered more harrowing evidence of combustion. Utah, U.S.A. 1978, Terry Roberts returns home from work and saw a U.F.O, the dust kicks up around his small farm, his animals are terrified, all bolting for cover, Terry stands stunned, lifeless, the night sky beams lights that he cannot explain, next thing, he can't remember, next thing hes got some alien digging around in his anus, see, it's a funny old world. See my point?

Ah, you just dont get it, open your eyes!

At the United Nations Institute of Well and Cave Devils and Spontaneous Human Combustion and Farming (Or Something like that)* research has been on-going for almost eighty years. Edgar Legs is chief scientist at the institute and an avid trouser wearer. Every time you sneeze a fairy dies Edgar said, which I for one was not aware of. In the fall of 1970 there were more deaths from SHC than anything else, people were literally exploding, especially in Vietnam, our research shows that in Vietnam from 1965 until 1972 there were people blowing up left, right and centre.
Because of the war?
Ohyeasureexcuse me a moment
Edgar left the room and began to cry, something about years wasted or something. Will the truth ever be discovered?
I doubt it personally. But then I doubt everything. When they asked if I thought 2001 would make a good film I doubted it. And when they asked about 2010, well, I was probably wanking, but I doubt I'd have been happy or interested. I am well old you know, at least 90. Its 2005 now and not a sausage of space travel, god I'm such a cock.

The End.

-Next week - "Well and Cave Devils, I doubt it."

* (True)
Nothing written on this site is intended to be true or factual, and none of the celebrities named in the 'Look Into' section have anything to do with this website. Their 'contributions' are entirely fictional and have been created by the authors of Hobo-Bonobo. The opinions expressed on Hobo-Bonobo.co.uk are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited.

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