Back to the home page Ted tells you what Free Stuff you can Have Hobo Merchandise at Cafe Press All the good stuff The opinions and knowledge of the rich and famous. Reviews of films, books, music and more. Submit your own. Dermot and Ted's Top Ten Preferences Dermot's Dictionary

A LOOK INTO INDEX
A Look Into Going To The Toilet Outdoors with Bear Grylls   Average Rating: 2 out of 5
A Look Into The Seedy World of Underground Sports with Trevor McDonald  Average Rating: 3.8 out of 5
A Look Into Saving The Fish with Ted Danson  Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Look Into Area 51 with Larry Hagman  Average Rating: 2.5 out of 5
A Look Into Cross-Dressing with Eddie Izzard  Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Look Into pathalogical lying with Steven Seagal  Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5
A Look Into Cooking with Richard Griffiths  Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Look Into getting kicked in the bollocks with Michel Lonsdale  Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Look Into Shooting Monkeys with Kelsey Grammer  Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Look Into Murder with Professor Heinz Wolf  Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Look Into Time Travel with Terry Thomas  Average Rating: 5 out of 5
A Look Into Perverts with Richard Littlejohn
A Look Into why I manipulated the course of history so Dangermouse could exist with Peter Wyngarde  Average Rating: 3.3 out of 5
A Look Into Robots with Peter Stringfellow
A Look Into Dragons with George Lazenby
More...
A Look Into Tortoises with Molly Sugden
Hi, Mollie Sugden here, I’m 84 years old and living the high life travelling the countryside in a horse drawn cart with my dear friend Buster. Today I’m going to talk to you about my favourite animals - tortoises. I say animals but, of course, I mean reptiles because that’s what tortoises are, reptiles, you know, like snakes. My favourite bird is a Kitty Hawk but anyway, back to the tortoises.

Now firstly let’s get one thing straight if you’re expecting quips about my pussy then you’ve got another thing coming and secondly by me saying tortoise I’m not referring to my ‘box’ either. Now that’s clear on with the factual guide.

The terms 'turtle,' 'tortoise,' and 'terrapin' are often used interchangeably, and depending on which country you are in, may describe a completely different type of 'turtle.' But before you get too concerned about the common names, let us take a step back and identify them as belonging to one common order, the Chelonia. If it has a shell and is a reptile, then it is going to fall into the order Chelonia, which includes 244 different species.
For most Americans, the term 'turtle' describes the Chelonians that are aquatic or semi-aquatic. The term 'tortoise' describes a Chelonian that lives primarily on land. 'Terrapin' can describe some freshwater or saltwater turtles, but is not often used.
Mollie says: you can get a jumper called a turtle neck sometimes nylon, sometimes woollen.
If you were in Australia, you might call all of the turtles 'tortoises,' and in Britain, a 'turtle' would mean a saltwater species and a 'terrapin' would be a freshwater species.

Mollie says: I checked up with Rolf Harris on this one he’s Australian and his favourite bird is the Kookaburra. Rolf said that if he saw a tortoise or a turtle he wouldn’t know what to do!
In general, tortoises live on land and eat a primarily vegetarian diet, and turtles live in or near the water and eat a meat-based diet or a combination of meat and vegetation.

Mollie says: A great piece of comedy is to pretend a tortoise is a pie.

To take this one step further, turtles are often broken down into aquatic and semi-aquatic species. The aquatic species spend the majority of their lives in or near the water and eat a diet that is mostly meat based. Semi-aquatic turtles spend a greater period of time on land, but periodically enter the water. Semi-aquatic turtles tend to eat both plants and animals. An example of a semi-aquatic turtle is the well known American Box Turtle. While there are several subspecies differences, this turtle tends to spend most of its time on land, but enters very shallow water several times a week to defecate. The young turtles are primarily meat eaters, but as they get older, they eat a primarily vegetarian diet.
Mollie says: I love tortoises because you can paint words on their back. Check out these famous tortoises:
The tortoise from Blue Peter
Ninja turtles

I used to have 6 roaming around my garden when I lived near Surbiton. Now I don’t have any but memories are wonderful, aren’t they.




Comment on This Article
Your comment will be added automatically once you click on submit.
Your name:
Comment:
Overall Rating out of Five:
ZeroOneTwoThreeFourFive

HOBO-BONOBO.co.uk
Back to Index Page | What's New | Search | Links | Link to Us | Feedback | Contact Us | Site Map
The opinions expressed on Hobo-Bonobo.co.uk are not those of anyone, particularly not the people to whom they have been accredited.
The content of the site is intended to be humourous, and is not intended to offend anyone.