I am Dalton, Tim Dalton, and when I am not James Bond or shooting rubber lizards that sound like farts on Mongo, I am an actor, and a UFO. enthusiast. I am very much like that mad one from the 60's band "The Troggs" who is mad on UFOs, he lives in the country somewhere and wants them to fly down and probe him like there's no tomorrow, kinky so and so.
My interest in UFOs mainly lies in the fact that they are so mysterious and graceful, like a flying unicorn. Let me say I have no desire to have some bug eyed creature poke around in my arris.
When I was shooting "The Living Daylights" in Gibraltar I saw my first UFO. - that is where it all began for me. I was in my trailer drinking some tea and reading a poem when I heard a loud noise. I thought it might be Roger Moore at first, he was forever holding up production, I think he was bitter and unable to accept the fact that he was too old to play Bond. When I got the first script for the movie Roger had crossed out all references to "James Bond" and written "Roger Moore" in biro, it was very sad.
He had even gone to the trouble of booking a hotel room not far from the set. He would come every day and insist that all the men called him "007" and that all the girls should call him, "oh, James". One day I was at the catering truck when Roger arrived. He had assembled a crude array of Q style gadgets to impress the director John Glen. Sadly none of them functioned correctly and Roger ended up with varying degrees of burns, cuts and bruises. He also lost his remaining plumb.
It all came to a head one day when Roger murdered and ate our assistant director - of course it was hushed up and Roger was sent for counselling, but I think the film suffered in the long run, especially my close ups.
Anyway, back to the noise: I peered out of the trailer window and saw the object, it was circling by the gaggle of monkeys that were assembled on the Gibraltar rock face. Suddenly, one of the poor monkeys was zapped up into the strange object and whisked into space at a speed I cannot begin to explain...sadly, the Monkey was never seen again.
I should take this opportunity to explain something - it was reported in the press in 1986 that I suspected Roger Moore of Monkey theft, now I should say that this was in no way proven or possible, as although I was not to know, at the time of the abduction Roger was in Geneva receiving the best treatment money can buy. I know this now and apologise to Roger and his family for any suffering this may have caused.
I decided at this point to spend the next few nights watching to see if the strange monkey-stealing craft would return, sadly it didn't, thus ending my anecdote, but my interest in UFOs was born.
I went to see Roger in 1989, he was much better and I read through the script for "Bullseye" with him, I didn't want to upset him any further and tell him it was a load of rubbish, so I said it was a real "hit". I also suggested, as a joke, that the best co-star would be Michael Caine, little did I realise that he would take this so seriously. When I suggested Michael Winner should direct the movie I was laughing, but sadly, Roger thought it was a good idea, and the rest is history, poor Roger.
I was offered a further Bond film after Licence To Kill, but I turned it down in favour of the Flash Gordon spin off "Prince Barin's crazy world of Mongo" which was sadly never made, would of been dead good though, it had me and Brian Blessed (again playing the Zoltan the hawk man) as next door neighbours, and Windsor Davies had signed on as my crazy friend "Doongol", but it was never meant to be, and sadly Windsor never really recovered from this bitter blow, but we stuck together as we are both Welsh and proud, just like the man from This Life, you know, the "funny" one.
Do I think there is life in space?
Perhaps, but more importantly, are there any paying acting roles for me? Perhaps you want me to be on TV? or in a film? I will be more than happy to discuss, as long as it's not a sequel to "The Beautician and the Beast".
I think we are all UFOs in a way.
Tim.
xx
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