A Look Into It and How to do it: Dressing to impress with Alan Holes


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A Look Into It and How to do it: Dressing to impress with Alan Holes

"The first bit of sex is with the eye."
Whether preparing for a career in dirty films, or just planning to go up a lot of women, it is important to capitalize on one's desirability. Setting oneself apart and above the rampant proletariate is of paramount importance - without this solid footing it will be near impossible to exploit the numerous weaknesses of women.

The most surefire way to achieve this personal elevation is with appropriate attire. To consume the dainties, you must in your clothing construct a web in which to ensnare them. Many of you will by now be aware of the power of the pinstripe and bowler in allowing egress to her blushing belows. If you are of the necersary constitution or derivation, you may like to consider a kilt - especially if you can claim the use of a family tartan. Sock suspenders are a frequently irresistable addition to the male leg - I recall a lady of Windsor who used to fair hump a leg so adorned.

For myself, though, I find few garments more sensual, more enticing than a full length bathing costume. The horizontal stripes with mesmerising intensity enwrap the curve and bulge of my man's body - the neckline, pulled taugt by my masculine chest; the crotch riding into a cup around my excellent man's piece.

Above all, though, it is with the shoe that deal is made. I have yet to meet a woman not moistened wild by the sight of my slender, pale legs disappearing into slackened cotton pringles encased in gentleman's brogues. They are, without doubt the most masculine kind of shoe, and for this reason, my best.

Now that you know how to get, come back next week to find out what to do with it.

Comments about This Article

I tried this and lost my other bollock. Not good. Sex anyone? Comment By: Roger Moore, 23 Sep 2008, Rating: 1/5

I tried out this technique and ended up with two broken knees. I am highly unimpressed. Comment By: Mary Whitehouse, 29 Jun 2008, Rating: 0/5

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