Hi, you know, I love an atmosphere, I especially love a party with a happy atmosphere, I often like to take someone there and dance in the cool night air. I think that is a given.
Many people ask what I’ve been doing since “Madhouse” and “The Russ Abbott show” finished. I usually just say that I’ve been doing theatre (well, I’ve been going to the theatre, so it’s not such a big lie) and of course lots of charity work (I gave 5 pounds to that one eyed bear).
I was offered game shows like Les Dennis (my apprentice in the business of show). You know I actually turned down the game shows "Lucky Ladders" and Crosswits. I think I regretted that as much as when I decided to pork Bella Emburg for a laugh.
The truth is of course I’ve been doing nothing. I opened a few post offices and mad/sick/spazzy kiddie’s homes, but that isn’t ultimately fulfilling. I have recently decided to become a journalist. The first rule of being a journalist of course is to write about what you know, I know about atmospheres and parties, so I thought I would attend a rave.
I decided to approach this much like Donal McIntyre would, so, I went undercover and set about making my contacts. I chose to disguise myself as a young raver - I dressed in a shell suit with a baseball cap facing sideways and a “acid face” t shirt. I had a whistle from my old days refereeing celebrity football matches, and white gloves from when I used to do Michael Jackson impressions, so I was set.
I met a guy called George in the bar next to my targeted club. My disguise seemed to work perfectly as he told me he was going to the rave and he sold me lots of head-ache tablets. I went into the club with George and we started to dance to the music, though the music was really loud and hurt my old ears, so I took some of the headache tablets that George had sold me earlier.
After about an hour I’d had about all I could take really, it was just too noisy, so I took a taxi home and had to have a sit down for a while. Suddenly I found myself listening to my Wings albums at full volume, and ringing all my showbiz pals, as I just had to tell them how much I appreciated them. I then cried and laughed and sweated a lot, I don’t really remember much else apart from that.
On the whole I found the rave culture to be a bit too loud and noisy, no wonder they all carry headache tablets!
The people seemed nice, and they were all good dancers, I’m glad they accepted me as one of their own, it seemed they loved an atmosphere too. I think we all do in a way.
Lots of love
Russ.
P.S If anyone from television is reading this, please give me a new job.
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