| Various Thinkers Take "A Look Into..." | |
 | A Look Into Folk with Tom Selleck Hi, My name is Tom Selleck, you may know me better as Magnum P.I. or as that memorable cowboy I played, can't remember his name. You may also be aware that I was originally in line to play Indiana Jones, but I was under contract to do another season of Magnum, so I had to turn it down, thank god... more |
 | A Look Into Extinct Animals with Peter Falk Hi, I'm Peter Falk, you may know me as TV's dirty detective, Columbo. My wife and I enjoy nature walks, I am a keen bird watcher (even though I only have one eye, imagine that). we have a small Avery full of beautiful birds, my wife buys many of them and puts them on show, her owls... more |
 | A Look Into War with Leslie Grantham Hello Princess, remember me? Yes, I am Dirty Dennis (used to be). The people at H-B probably approached me to talk about War after seeing my daily battles with Angie! Well, to be fair, probably because I would be available after being caught having a pumping sesh on-line dressed as Captain Hook... more |
 | A Look Into UFOs with Timothy Dalton I am Dalton, Tim Dalton, and when I am not James Bond or shooting rubber lizards that sound like farts on Mongo, I am an actor, and a UFO. enthusiast. I am very much like that mad one from the 60's band "The Troggs" who is mad on UFOs, he lives in the... more |
 | A Look Into Trains with Ringo Starr Ringo here! I am so pleased to be able to give you the low-down on the locomotives! Trains are great, I love them, I think they're dead gear, cars are dead grotty, deh do doh don't day doh? When I was asked by The Reverend... more |
 | A Look Into It and How to do It: Romancing A Lady, with Bryan Ferry Hello, I am Bryan Ferry, when I am not singing and playing music I am usually wooing les femmes, or as they are more commonly known, women. A woman is like a man, but minus the poke and not as good at driving. My women are sophisticated in their tastes, and sophisticated in their need for love. more |
 | A Look Into It and How to do It: Fellatio, with Terry Nutkins Hello, my name is Terry Nutkins, and I am a dick wizard. As part of hobo-bonobo's ongoing "A Look Into It and How To Do It" series, I am here to tell you about kissing a man's privates. I normally get up to it round the back of Waitrose. And don't think that my return to hobo-bonobo is a coincidence either. Sucky-sucky. more |
 | A Look Into Lady's Sex Mountains with Gwyneth Paltrow "Boobs, Baps, Breasts, Bouncers, Nubbins, Jubblies, Tittles, Tits, Titties, Titty Towers, Wobblers, Knobblers, Chest Bangers, Blouse Busters, Sex Buttons, Dirt Cushions, Titty Boob Bags ... "more |
 | A look into It and How to do it: an introduction with Floella Benjamin Over the next few amounts of your human lives, h-b will presenting a series of insights into "it" - both what it is and how to do it. Personally, I find the act of human pelvic conjunction to be both morally and physically abhorant, and as such, refuse to even watch it, let alone... more |
 | A look into the Issues Surrounding Racial Cleansing with Alan Darlek As a dalek, I am often asked "which is the race you would most like subjugate under dalek rule?" To which I reply "None of them because they are all as flawed and worthless as eachother!" And I laugh in my dalek way. You see, to a dalek, you are all...... more |
 | A look into It and How to do it: Dressing to impress with Alan Holes "The first bit of sex is with the eye." Whether preparing for a career in dirty films, or just planning to go up a lot of women, it is important to capitalize on one's desirability. Setting oneself apart and above the rampant proletariate is of paramount importance...more |
 | A look into Internet Pornography with Tommy Boyd The Hobo-Bonoboes have granted a good number of eighties celebrities a reprive from failure by asking them to look into things. I am pleased that I, Timothy Leslie Fountain Boyd, can now count myself as one of them. Remember the eighties? Sean connery, Dinosaurs? Well... more |
 | A look into Sex Addiction with Michael Douglas Hi, I’m Michael Douglas, and I am addicted to sex. I don’t just mean I like blue movies and magazines, I mean proper rumpo with ladies. Ladies really like me, I have a neck like a turkey and a weird voice, but they can’t get enough of my hot... more |
 | A look into Judaism with CBS Kids' star Arthur Being a Jew is best. Christmas gets pretty confusing, but the rest of it is really cool. And - when you think about it - even Jesus was Jewish! Being a Jew also gives you a great reason to be kind to people... more |
 | A look into Scientology with Successful Scientologist Henry Baumgard "Scientology is the Science of Religion - and i should know!" I have been a scientologist for over seven weeks now, and it has changed my life. The main change relates to how I am now a scientologist, whereas I used not to be - but you would not understand this... more |
 | A look into TV's Hercules with Angela Lansbury "Isn't tits and long hair technically a woman?" Its name is Kevin David Sorbo. It is an actor. I first met him on my popular television series "Murder She Wrote". He was... more |
 | A look into the Joys of Gardening with Alan Holes " ... like a burgeoning flower, the petals part revealing the delicate bud." The gardener stands for a moment, regarding the flower bed and considering the task before him. Kneeling, he brushes back the fringe of long grass to reveal the soil beneath. His experienced hand gently, firmly... more |
 | A look into Homosexuality with Brett Anderton from Suede "Being gay is best. I mean, seriously." Lezzies are quite cool, with their nipple twisting and all that, but being a gay is best. We get to go out late and stay out late. We get to wear... more |
 | A look into M.E. with Jack Klugman. "M.E. is a real shitter." Hi, you might recognise me as T.V.s Alan Quincy, M.E. I'm guessing that it's the letters behind my on-screen name that had the editors of h-b approach me for this ill-advised crap. Anyway, they did, and... more |
 | A look into Space Travel with Sir Michael Caine Hello, my name is Michael Caine, I think a lot of people know that. People often think I say “not a lot of people know that” all the time but I don’t. Many people always say that they remember where they were when Louis Armstrong walked on the moon in 1969.... more |
 | A look into Career Deaths with Michael Barrymore When Ted Bonobo asked me to write (or should I say “awwight!” – ha, ha, ha) an article on celebrities’ famous career ending moments, I was dubious that I would be able to fit it into my busy schedule. But as it happens, my mother cancelled at the last minute so I can hopefully lend less... more |
 | A look into Dinosaurs with Sir Sean Connery Hello, I am the one they call Sean Connery. Many years ago when I decided to play James Bond again in the 1983 film, “Never Say Never Again” (remember the 80’s? Space hoppers, Mott the Hoople and Platform shoes?) I looked so young and handsome, especially when I was necking... more |
 | A look into Cultural Differences with Paul Hogan Gooday Cobbers! I’m the hero of the Crocodile Dundee franchise, I’ve got a big knife (which is a euphemism), and I like to use it. When I first arrived in America, many things confused me. Back in the outback, we didn’t have toilets or sinks, and we certainly didn’t... more |
 | A look into Rave Culture with Russ Abbott Many people ask what I’ve been doing since “Madhouse” and “The Russ Abbott show” finished. I usually just say that I’ve been doing theatre (well, I’ve been going to the theatre, so it’s not such a big lie) and of course lots of charity work (I gave 5 pounds to that one eyed bear)... more |
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| A look into Hollywood with Terry Nutkins Hello, Nutkins here, I used to be in Animal Magic and The Really Wild Show, you know, I had two of my fingers bitten off by my own Otter, and even though I am bald, I still have decided to grow my hair. I am here today to tell you about Hollywood Many people don’t realise that I was offered many film roles in the 1980’s... more |
 | A look into Crime with Ben Elton Good evening ladies and gentlemen I'm Ben Elton. There is something shocking out in the streets of London every night, something we all see and do nothing about; I'm talking about all these musicals I'm involved with. There's about as much point of making a musical with Queen Music... more |
 | A look into Witchcraft with Sir Roger Moore Greetings mortals. Call me Moore, Roger Moore. I spent many years when I was playing James “The Saint” Bond travelling the world and seeing different cultures and customs... more |
 | A look into Bigfoot with Treat Williams Howdy Folks. I'm Treat Williams, Hollywood actor and, well, an actor. On April 17th 1975 I was hiking in The Makahoo woods in Nebraska. It was a beautiful spring day and me and my... more |
 | A look into Child Slavery with Michael Winner Child slavery is terrible, they get these little kids and I would imagine they make them do things like (haven’t looked into it, I had a nice admiral pie instead, yum) light hovering, a spot of knitting and lighting cigars for business men with bright white hair like a lovely and pretty pony... more |
 | A look into Magic with Paul Daniels People often come up to me and ask me how I got so rich and famous just doing stupid magic tricks. I turn to them and I say "now that's magic". (It doesn't make sense, but it's all they really want to hear). Those of us who were there at the beginning will remember that God... more |
 | A look into Music with Sir Paul McCartney Hey! Hey! Hey! more |
 | A look into Filmmaking with George Lucas Hello, I'm George Lucas. I'm at the Cannes film festival in France, near Germany, next to Spain, nowhere near California. When the folks at Hobo Bonobo (Namely Ted) asked me to write a piece for their website, I thought I'd write about what I know best. Movie-making, Or as you English call it... more |
 | A look into Spontaneous Human Combustion, with Arthur C. Clarke In 1982, the statistics on SHC were staggering, 1 in 5 people were likely to spontaneously combust before 1983. Truth be told, you were more likely to spontaneously combust than be on Television (not researched, just guessed). Imagine ... more |
 | A look into the Loch Ness Monster, with Michael Crichton. Did you read Jurassic Park? Did you see Jurassic Park? Or the sequel? The lost something or other? Well, it was all based on dinosaurs, you know? Those big lizards? Like in my book Prey where nans attack people and stuff. Well, the Loch Ness Monster is kind of a big dinosaur, and when I heard about It, I had to... more |
 | A look into Ghosts, with Clive Barker. A Ghost, it says in the dictionary, is “The spirit of a dead person, especially one believed to appear in bodily likeness to living persons or to haunt former habitats.” Isn’t that spooky? Scared? I'm not, I write horror you see, it's my job to scare you, it wouldn’t be much good if it scared me, it's like going to a dentist... more |
 | A look into Hitler, with J.K.Rowling. Of all aspects of history, the Second World War is my favourite, and Hitler, like Voldamort (or whatever he's fucking called) is the best. In fact for my new Harry Potter book I'm writing a bit about Harry saying he thinks Lord Voldamort is a big meanie, “Just like Hitler, I hope he shoots... more |